This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.Â ~Elmer Davis
We here at Cracked are, first and foremost, Comedy Writers - not âFact Checkersâ or âResearchersâ or âScience Understandersâ - we try to write humorously about interesting things and, in the process, often end up referencing disputed facts, unreliable sources, or simply making some shit up at the last minute because we spent our research time drinking Russian cologne when the guy at the liquor store refused to sell to us just because we frequently come in wearing nothing but a beer hat and a smile (and sometimes not even the smile.)
In a nutshell: Our credibility is shot.
For example, take
this article I wrote about comic books
. It is simply riddled with inaccuracy, disinformation, and mean-spirited lies. Clearly, I wrote this article with an anti-comic book agenda that was barely concealed beneath a thin veneer of incompetency. And that was something as trivial as comics! Imagine our validity as a political source! We could post live streaming video of Obama selling children to starving alien soul-rapists, accompanied by a certificate of authenticity signed by the ghost of George Washington himself and we would still be called a Photoshop. Iâm not sure exactly why people call us that, but I assume it means something akin to 'liar.' So donât worry about us! We have all the believability of The Boy Who Cried Wolf if, instead of a boy, he was a functionally retarded blind man and, instead of a wolf, he was crying Loch Ness Sasquatch Elvis.
"I was brought up on the street / I'm facing up to freedom / And chasing down my dream / I was made in America." -Jon Bon Jovi
Seriously, it was DOB. Did you guys not see this? Look at it! Heâs a traitor! We're not even a real website! It was all a sting! An elaborate ruse to sniff out the traitor in our midst! McCarthy forever, betrayal never! Better dead than red! These colors donât run! Never forget! Buy American!
Find Robert on Twitter
and his own site, I Fight Robots
, which is nothing but fan-art of Thomas Jefferson riding Bald Eagles in front of 9/11.