5 Dating Sites for Terrible People to Find Terrible Love
One of my New Year's resolutions was to get back into the dating scene, but there's only one problem: It has been mathematically proven that I'm terrible at it. And I finally understand why: It's because I'm a terrible person. But that doesn't mean I'm doomed to be awful alone, because at last, there's a dating website for bad people to find horrible love: It's called all of them. Every single dating website out there is absolutely filled to the brim with my kind of people. People who are not sorry, ever, about anything; people who are tired of consequences and so choose to abstain from them; people who are halfway convinced that the rest of humanity is a holographic simulation projected for their amusement. If I can't find love slapping around somewhere in one of these virtual cesspools, well, then it's probably everyone's fault but mine, just like literally everything else.
Match.com
The Girl:Related:
Sugardaddyforme
The Girl:Related:
The Atlasphere
The Girl:Related: 55 Sequels That No One Thought Through
Dating Twitter
The Girl:Related: Sorry, Jack, But No One Is Going To Pay To Use Twitter
Craigslist Personals
The Girl:You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Or you could go visit the Atlasphere instead, and try to sneak Bioshock-themed profiles past the moderators there. That sounds like way more fun.
For more from Robert, check out The 5 Least Sexy Products Money Can Buy=One Terrifying Date and 5 Steps to Having The Most Badass Funeral Ever.