Much as it seems like a parody product that some particularly inspired website churned out as an April Fools' joke, the Emergency Bra is very much a real thing. It can be used as a normal bra, but it can also be fashioned into a serviceable makeshift emergency mask. There's even a version that has a radiation sensor in case someone busts out a nuke.
Here's a funny thing: The Emergency Bra is an award-winning product. Granted, the award in question is the 2009 Ig Nobel Prize (think a jokey, slightly less demeaning Science Razzie), but still -- surely this means the bra is at least of some use. At the very least, this thing makes sure its user is always kind-of-sort-of ready for the impending disaster.
However, think a little bit further, and certain issues start to present themselves. To simulate how the Emergency Bra is used, go right ahead and try fashioning a bra into a face mask. While wearing it, fully clothed, in public. While sirens blast, and everyone around you is screaming and panicking like they're being forced to watch a four-hour French art movie without subtitles. Chances are the noxious citywide Taco Bell fart you were attempting to shield against will reach you 10 times over as you struggle with your garments, and the disaster workers will find you locked in awkward clothes bondage not dissimilar to that peculiar back-home-from-the-keg-party state where you try to drunkenly remove all your clothes at once but pass out on the floor halfway through.
Oh, and should the user by some miracle manage to untangle the bra in time to fashion it into a mask, there's still one hurdle. As brassieres tend to be designed to accommodate two boobs, every Emergency Bra can be broken into two separate masks ... one of which you're supposed to give to the nearest maskless bystander, who will now experience the crisis in question through a fine, musky layer of your terror-sweat.
Nothing like a nice tang of Eau d'Motorboat to distract from impending doom.