5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving
Oh, sure, you've moved before: To a better neighborhood, a bigger house or just to spite that bitch Stacy at work who said she lived in a "very exclusive neighborhood." It's not a big deal. You suffer through one shitty weekend, buy your friends cheap beer and sub-food quality pizza in exchange for manual labor, and you're done. But the big move -- the out-of-state, thousand-mile, cross-country, fuck-all move -- is a different story. There are all sorts of traps, pitfalls and dastardly sons of bitches lurking out there, just waiting to pounce on you in your vulnerable state of temporary Hobo-osity. And nobody warns you about them ... presumably because Big Moving has had all of their protesting tongues cut out and fed into the secret Misery Engines that really keep those trucks running.
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In the End, Stuff is Just Stuff. It's the Immaterial Things that Really Matter ...
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter and Facebook or you could just give him his fucking toolbox back, you son of a bitch!
Check out more from Brockway in The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational 80s Songs and 5 Movie Martial Artists That Lost a Deathmatch to Dignity.