We all know the drill by now: Kids get signed and are immediately forced to change their clothes, hair, face, and attitude to conform to some bullshit standard that nobody in the real world resembles in the least. Not like rock! What you see on stage is who they are inside, right?
Let's take a look at Black Sabbath.
Hey. HEY! I'm talking to you, Sabbath.
See, all that spooky Satan shit was carefully crafted by the band so that all those dollar signs in their heads could finally become reality. This is a group that started life as the Polka Tuck Blues Band. Spooky, right? They even had a saxophone player, because the devil loves him some funky brass. Sadly, no recordings exist of ol' Polka Tuck, so we don't know if they were truly polka. They sure as fuck weren't forefathering any doom metal, though.
"Lucifer seems less interested in doing the schottische then we thought he'd be."