28 Days Later: The Swine Flu Epidemic

Poor, poor Ian. Day 14 (later) Wow, holy shit that was easy, much easier than I thought it was going to be. I took the skin from Ian's face and made a hat for myself, to warn those infected that I am the destroyer of the virus, and also because I look good in fancy hats. Man, I feel alive. Still, I have to stay on my toes in case this virus--which the media is now calling "Swine Flu" and what the medical community is now calling "easily treatable and practically harmless for most Americans"--has spread to any of my other coworkers. Day 20 More and more of my fellow employees are asking me what happened to Ian, a characteristic I've now added to the list of symptoms indicative of the Pig Virus. Shawn called the police like a big, fat baby, so I called him a big fat baby. He says as soon as they can get the doors open I'm going to be arrested for destruction of property, kidnapping and attempted murder. I said "We'll let history decide," and then I kicked him in the junk. Day 23 I'm weaker every day, but I only slightly regret locking us in this building without food or water. A few more employees were (probably) infected with the virus, so I reluctantly dispatched them and even more reluctantly made a series of hats. I am the slayer of the infected, destroyer of the lost souls and manufacturer of fancy face hats. All those infected will run when they see me, because I'm so hella good at killing them. Day 27 It's only me! It's only me, do you get that? I am the only one left in the office who wasn't either infected or a total dick who would probably eventually get infected on account of what a dick he is (Shawn). By my count, I've had to kill 23 of my employees. Twenty-three people I'd seen every day for years, 23 people with families, with ambitions. People who had kids, people who someday wanted kids. People who liked baseball. People who shopped at Target. And I had to carefully separate their heads and destroy their brains. Even by the 23rd, it never got any easier. 'Course it wasn't very difficult to begin with. A real walk in the park, for me, can't imagine it getting any easier. Still, I don't know if I'll be able to hold them off much longer on my own. The rapid deterioration of my starving, thirsty, face-hat-covered body is matched only by the rapid deterioration of my (also face-hat-covered) mind. I keep sneezing and sweating, and I think I might be running a slight fever, so I want to head out and find a doctor. (Can't destroy a life-ruining virus if I have the flu, am I right?) Luckily, I rigged this whole building up with a series of explosives a year ago (was supposed to be for a surprise party idea that fell through), and I am more than prepared to detonate it, even if it means running away and treating my own sickness. That's a sacrifice I'm prepared to make.