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The
CB2 was back in the news this week, a year or so after he first made headlines for looking like an infant crossed with a colostomy bag. Clicking through the news, I was glad to see that he hadn’t made any further progress in not looking terrifying, and none of the scientists working on him appeared to have any skin missing. Everything must be completely safe, right?
“Not necessarily,” I replied to my own rhetorical question. Even though hack comedy writers have
obsessed over Japanese nuttiness for years, one thing that doesn’t get a lot of attention is their fascination with robots. Unlike western audiences, who have learned to fear robots thanks to fictional works like
The Terminator and
Blade Runner, the Japanese have
Astro Boy and their own tormented dreams to thank for a mental image of robots that looks like helpful fleshy teddy bears. Consequently, while the rest of the world was meeting girls and experimenting with drugs, Japan has spent the past 30 years working to bring robots into the world, as if the whole nation was some sort of hideous metal vagina.
And on that note, let’s get to the comedy! Here's 20 Japanese Robots (plus some accessories) that, for various reasons, I suspect to be intent on murdering you and everything you hold dear.
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![dhrc_p1500613 dhrc_p1500613]()
Sure it’s only six inches tall right now, and leashed to a computer, but can you honestly tell me, with fists shaped like that, that this thing is meant for anything other than being sent into the past to kill me for trying to warn the world about it?
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