Oh pretty quickly it seems. I guess the driveway has a slope.
And a ditch.
Sleep In A Quickly Filling Ditch Near Their Bed
Ok, so the kid's in more of a car seat then a bed, but yeah, I guess I deserve this. I made my ditch, now I'll lie in it.
Ok, so long as it's just me and you, the readers of a moderately popular list-based website, yeah, drugs. The lad always sleeps great when he's sick after getting dosed up with children's Tylenol or whatever. The boy's clearly got a pretty bad case of ... sleeping annoyance syndrome. So what's really preventing me from doing that again now?
Morals, sure. A basic understanding of medicine and the precautionary principle. I'll get in trouble, again.
Well maybe I'll just take the damned drugs then.
-more sub-par krumping around the house-
Fine. Fuck it. FUCK IT. I know this is bad. I know this is the nuclear option, the last resort which will spread radioactive behavioral patterns that won't dissipate for hundreds of years.
I don't care.
-sub-par krumps them into my bed-
HOW ARE YOU NOT ASLEEP WHAT MAGIC IS THIS HAVE YOU ANGERED A DRUID OR SOMETHING DO I NEED TO PUT A RING OF SALT AROUND THE BED I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED HERE
I wonder. I just wonder. This might be crazy enough to work.
Oh. It worked.
Probably not a good look that I've never tried that before.
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and enchanting singer. As the author of the amazing novels, Freeze/Thaw and Severance he thinks you should definitely go buy both of those now. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
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