12 Ridiculous (And Telling) Statistics From Around The World

Some statistics call your entire worldview into question.
12 Ridiculous (And Telling) Statistics From Around The World

Some statistics call your entire worldview into question. I'm talking the kind of numbers that make you think humans are either the supreme force in the Universe or some stunning mistake of nature that must be stopped at all costs. These are the kinds of numbers that beg to be shared with friends or someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to you on the bus. And I've got 12 of them here! Nice.

Every Year, Half A Million Italians Are Reportedly Possessed By Demons

According to this article in Newsweek, there are 500,000 possessions reported annually in Italy. That comes straight from Father Benigno Palilla of Vatican Radio, explaining why they need more trained exorcists. It's becoming quite the task. And even all on its own with no further context, that's a crazy number, right? You don't have to believe possession is real at all; it's just that many are reported. Stunning. But let's add some context, just for kicks.

Italy has a population of 60 million people, give or take. If 500,000 people get possessed annually, that's 1 in 120 Italians every year. If there's no doubling up, by the end of the decade, 1 in 12 Italians will have been possessed. That's 1 in 6 after 20 years, roughly speaking (and in a way that ignores birth rates). If you're an Italian who has not been possessed, it's almost impossible to not be related to one who has been, and literally impossible not to at least know someone who's been possessed. After 40 years, people in Italy will be getting possessed twice, because everyone will have finished the possession race and lap two will be underway.

Again, this doesn't mean that a single one of these possessions have to be real or anything. It just goes to show that there is a heck of a possession problem in Italy. Worse than rats, probably.

Every Year, 200,000 Russians Will Be Trapped In An Elevator

Under Brezhnev, construction of large buildings greatly expanded beyond those weird onion structures Russia is famous for. There was a housing crisis in Moscow, and they needed more and taller buildings. Those buildings needed elevators. Now, in the present, Moscow is home to twice as many elevators as New York City. One-fifth of those elevators are now so old that they should be retired. And this means that every year, 120,000 to 200,000 people get trapped in elevators.

For some perspective, Chicago reports 100 people getting stuck in an elevator per year. Moscow has about six times the population of Chicago, so that means they should have 600 people trapped per year. Or that Chicago should have 20,000-33,000. Whichever.

Every Year, There Are 95 Billion Packets Of Ramen Sold

How much do you know about ramen noodles? They may be the most brilliant food product ever made. A pack of dry noodles and a soup base that weighs less than a fart and can be prepared by adding nothing but hot water. You can eat these anywhere, and they're so cheap that if you buy a large enough bulk order, the company will probably pay you to take them.

In 2010, according to the World Instant Noodle Association -- which is a thing I didn't just make up -- 95.39 billion packets of instant noodles were sold. If you recall, the Earth's population is nowhere near that large. There were about 15 packs of noodles produced for every single human on Earth that year. Do you eat 15 of these a year? You can bet a lot of people don't eat any, which means a few of us are really taking one for the team here.

Related: 22 Statistics That Will Change The Way You See The World

Every Year, 12,000 Americans Are Accidentally Declared Dead

The best thing that can happen to you in Monopoly is a clerical error in your favor that nets you $200. Man, all the Gardens you can Marvin for that kind of money. But in real life, there are rarely clerical errors in your favor, and when the government makes an error, it can goddamn well kill you. On paper, anyway. It happens to 12,200 people a year, on average.

When most people make typos, the result is pretty innocuous. Hilariously texting "one sex" instead of "one sec," or "I'm shitting in your mailbox" instead of "Have a good day," stuff like that. When the government does it, people get wiped off the various databases that keep things like Social Security flowing or your driver's license valid. Turns out the issue is often caused by clerks filling out forms for actual dead people. One wrong keystroke on the real dead person's Social Security number, and suddenly it's you who's dead now. And good luck proving to the government you're not dead. They're the government. They tell you who's dead, not the other way around.

Costco Sells 60 Million Rotisserie Chickens A Year

Some people act like Costco is Jesus in commercial form. It's like the best place you could ever go, especially if you want 30 gallons of mayonnaise this weekend. Did you know Costco also sells hot food if you don't want to have to use an industrial kitchen to make your own ziti? And one of their biggest sellers is rotisserie chicken, because who doesn't want a membership-required bulk food center's hot chicken on a stick? They sell 157,000 of the things each and every day. That's 57 million greasy spinny chickens a year. And that's on the low end, since in 2017, they sold 87 million.

Costco sells a rotisserie chicken for $4.99, which is why they're so popular. Can you buy a raw chicken for $4.99? And they weigh about three pounds after cooking, so these are husky birds. Good deal, Costco. Good deal. Bad deal for Costco, though, which claimed to lose up to $40 million a year selling them at that price -- a trade-off for putting asses in aisles.

Daylight Savings Time Increases Heart Attacks By 24%

None of us like losing an hour to Daylight Savings Time, but we all love gaining an hour, because extra sleep is fun, and it's a sad commentary on humanity that we all become stoked by sleep. But there are bigger fish to fry than nap time. People die over this shit.

According to at least one study, on the Monday after DST starts, heart attacks increase by 24% across the board. That's compared to the daily average of reported heart attacks in the weeks surrounding that same date. To further drive this home, on the Monday after DST ends and we gain that extra hour, reported heart attacks drop by 21%. Now, the numbers all even out a bit on a weekly timeline, suggesting that it's really only folks about to have a heart attack anyway getting that one extra push. But ... maybe you could give yourself an extra hour of sleep, just in case.

Related: 22 Shocking Statistics That Change How You See The World

If You Tried One New Coke Product A Day, It Would Take You Nine Years To Taste Them All

How many Coke products do you think you could name off the top of your head? I got stumped after crack. But when naming Coca-Cola products, I did a little bit better. There's like Coke, Coke Zero, that orange stuff, water. What's that, 40? 45? It's a lot, but it's nowhere near what Coke has going for them worldwide, and probably nowhere near what you could even imagine, unless you read the header to this entry. Then it's exactly what you'd imagine. Good for you.

So yes, if you were to drink one new Coke product each and every day, it would take you over nine years to try them all. Coke makes more than 3,500 different beverages. Are any of them doubles? Probably, but who's checking that insane list to see if New Coke is really just old Coke in a different can?

Half Of All Australian Men Will Be Diagnosed With Cancer

I've had a deep-rooted love for Australia for most of my life, and really would like to go there sometime if air travel ever becomes the sort of thing you can pay for with hugs. My love for this curious land of hilarious accents and drop bears is only mildly tempered by the knowledge that it's apparently a den of cancerous terror that will see 50% of all men diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives.

Cancer in Australia is about twice as common as it is elsewhere in the world, because, in a very rudimentary way, Australia is a big empty frying pan under an open sun. The world average for getting cancer is 22%, so the 49.58% chance Aussie men have is pretty outrageous. Is the reason that Australia is built over a decaying alien nuclear power source? No, that thing's fine. The problem is that everyone's getting non-melanoma skin cancer. Australia, learn to use sunscreen.

We Waste 1.4 Billion Tons Of Food Each Year

No one likes to think about how much food we waste because it's a sorry, embarrassing situation. I had a pack of phyllo dough in my fridge for two years that I was sure I'd use to make something magnificent, and man, it does not last two years. I had to throw that away. That was my latest contribution to the 1.4 billion tons of food that we all LeBron right into the trash every single year.

How much is 1.4 billion tons of food in practical terms? Enough to feed two billion people, or more than a quarter of the world's population. That's about a third of all the food we make in a year. That's an assload of food. In America, the average person is wasting 429 pounds of food a year. That's about $161 billion a year. No wonder your grocery bill is so high.

Related: 22 Shocking (TRUE) Statistics About Your Everyday Life

Kentucky Has More Bourbon Than People

Kentucky is famous for chicken and whatever that derby is. Some kind of giant hat? It's also known as the source of an endless supply of booze. There is enough bourbon in Kentucky right now to drown all of those chickens the Colonel fries up, which could maybe be a recipe I am going to try this weekend. How much bourbon is in Kentucky? More than people. In fact, there are over eight million barrels in Kentucky right now, but only four million people, give or take. Effectively, there are two barrels of booze for every human in the state. That ... actually sounds about right, doesn't it?

Americans Use 36 Billion Rolls Of Toilet Paper Annually

Ass-wiping is taken for granted, as is the paper on which asses are wiped. But the numbers behind your TP are pretty staggering. Americans wipe their asses with 36.5 billion rolls every single year.

According to research, if we all decided to go for the refreshing spritz offered by a bidet, we could save 15 million trees per year. 15 million trees have to die because of dirty asses. That's something. And if you're thinking that at least you're not wasting as much water as a bidet, you'd be terribly wrong. Making one roll of toilet paper uses 37 gallons of water during the production process. That's about 473.5 billion gallons a year. Those ass squirts use 1/8 of a gallon.

In general, Americans use about 1/5 of all the toilet paper in the world, even though America only accounts for about 4% of the global population. It's like they say: Once you wipe your crack, you never go back.

Like Seafood? You're Eating 11,000 Pieces Of Plastic A Year

How much do you know about microplastics? If you're environmentally savvy at all, you may be aware that over time, all the plastic in the oceans breaks down into tiny blobs that seem insignificant until you remember there are millions of tons of this stuff floating around. They're an environmental hazard, because wildlife will of course ingest that shit. But then what happens if you ingest the wildlife?

Research shows the entirely obvious thing is happening here. You eat the fish, you get the plastic. A seafood-eater will be ingesting up to 11,000 pieces of microplastic a year, and you don't really poop this stuff out. It becomes embedded in your tissue, just like it was embedded in the fish's tissue. Over time, what do you think all of that plastic does? We're only recently trying to ensure plastics aren't made with harmful chemicals like BPA and phthalates and whatnot. But all of that old shit is floating in the ocean. In your shrimp. And now inside you. Anyway, enjoy your next trip to Red Lobster.

For more, check out 4 Shockingly Outdated Policies Of Modern Governments:

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