This Is The Best Line In The 'South Park' Season Finale
South Park Season 27/28 is finally in the books, and the most triggering ten episodes of television in conservative culture warrior history closed with a reminder that there’s nothing less Christ-like than an alt-right Christian.
Last night, Trey Parker and Matt Stone tied a bow on the end of numerous South Park storylines that gave the religious right conniptions throughout the latter half of 2025. Trump and Satan’s butt baby met its Jeffrey Epstein-like end. Satan himself left the White House. And, finally, Jesus Christ cast off the sleeveless t-shirt vestiges of right-wing Christianity and returned to empathy and giving, just in time for Christmas. “The Crap Out” capped off what was one of the stronger South Park seasons of the last ten years with a spectacular finale, which featured one of the most succinct critiques of modern American values in the show’s history.
In the absolute best moment of “The Crap Out,” a bigoted, woman-beating, right-wing Jesus declares that Donald Trump is “protecting this country from (plural form of anti-gay f-slur).”
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Towelie then asks Stan, “What the Hell happened to Jesus?”
To which Stan replied, “He’s all Christian now.”
Earlier in this season, South Park aired one of its most depressing episodes in years with “Twisted Christian,” in which Jesus saw first-hand how prejudiced right-wingers in this country bastardize his message and invoke his name to spread hate and selfishness, all while “Christian” women fill their bodies with more plastic than the Atlantic Ocean.
At one point, P.C. (Power Christian) Principal even beats the crap out of Jesus for rejecting the white nationalist brand of Christianity that has become commonplace among the American conservative community, causing Jesus to simply give in and become the d-bag who just broke Peter Thiel and Pete Hegseth out of prison.
Thankfully, “The Crap Out” ended on a hopeful note, as a speech from Stan swayed Jesus away from the Christian right. In return, the son of God brought back the Marsh house that had long been abandoned in favor of Tegridy Farms.
Unfortunately for Trump, Thiel, Hegseth and J.D. Vance, Jesus is no longer on their side – so in South Park Season 29, we can probably expect for Kristi Noem and ICE to come after the messiah and deport him back to Nazareth.
