‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ May Have Actually Broken Dee This Time
The last time Sweet Dee was at her lowest point, she said, “I might as well throw myself in front of a bus because I’m so ugly that I can’t even get a bus to hit on me.” This time around, Dee uttered a line that was even more disturbing: “I love you, Dad.”
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is back with new episodes following a grueling two-year hiatus, and the second half of tonight’s premiere double-feature, “Frank Is in a Coma,” brought back an Always Sunny tradition that’s older than the very game CharDee MacDennis: mercilessly bombarding Sweet Dee with emotional battery.
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After Dee insults Frank’s fascination with the Netflix game show Is It Cake?, tells him to die so that she can inherit his wealth and seemingly tickles him into a coma, Frank’s end-of-life wishes stick her with the job of pulling the plug once his heart rate drops below 50 BPM and puts her on a collision course with what just might be the greatest emotional trauma of her already-pretty-traumatic life.
Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn’t finished “Frank Is in a Coma,” which trapped Dee in Frank and Charlie’s apartment waiting for her not-father to finally croak so she could get her cut of his estate. While Mac, Dennis and Charlie went off to try to find investors for a global Paddy’s Pub brand at a swanky black-tie gala, Dee trawled through the trash of Frank’s living quarters for any valuables she could nick off of her old man in his final moments, only to stumble upon a mysterious manila envelope labeled, “My Most Prized Possession.”
Within the envelope was a porno magazine titled Big Ass Butts, but within the magazine was a drawing, not of a woman’s wagon, but of Frank and Dee, with the childish caption scrawled in crayon, “To Daddy, Love Dee.” Suddenly, Dee forgot about all the times that the man who is not her father insulted her, berated her, struck her, set her on fire and otherwise abused her with wanton cruelty and sick enjoyment.
In the closing minutes of the episode, Dee devolved into a sniveling mess, uttering emotional words of comfort to her comatose father. “Dad, if you can hear me in there, I want you to know that I love you,” Dee whispered shortly before the rest of the Gang returned. As the group prepared to say their final goodbye to Frank, Dee leaned down to kiss the forehead of the man who raised her, just to discover, that yes, he is cake!
Seriously, Frank set up an elaborate cake prank and pretended to fall into a coma and die just to prove that Is it Cake? wasn't a stupid show — he even forged the crayon drawing designed to bring Dee to tears. Not since he tricked Dee into thinking that she was about to perform stand-up on Conan in “The Gang Broke Dee” has Frank gone to such lengths to fuck with his fake daughter’s head, and considering the genuine tears she shed, this expensive, sadistic and unthinkable scheme of emotional battery may just take the cake.
