John Mulaney Mocks the FBI for Busting Aunt Becky, Wearing Their Own Merch
John Mulaney says that one of the biggest bummers of the current Trump administration is that everyone with a conscience now has to care about what wide-eyed Kash Patel is going to do to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, an organization so lame that they monogram their own windbreakers.
On tonight’s episode of Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney, the superstar stand-up comedian and bizarro late-night host ranted about the rollout of Real ID restrictions on air travel and entering government buildings. However, to caveat the comical destruction of a federal government program when the Trump administration is destroying actually helpful initiatives, Mulaney opened the show with a monologue about how it sucks that we have to worry about the government sucking too much instead of having a patriotic disdain of our most important public institutions.
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But, as far as importance goes, Mulaney is a doubter of the FBI’s efficacy at catching real criminals ever since they made a big stink about cracking the case on Lori Loughlin and a bunch of other rich people buying their kids’ admission into elite colleges, a thing that literally everyone already knew was happening.
While Mulaney’s takedown of the highest law enforcement agency in the United States is certainly humorous, he’s not being fair to the FBI when he says that all they do is bust rich people for buying their kids’ way unto the University of Southern California. In addition to cracking down on rich people getting preferential treatment in the college admissions process and wearing stupid shirts with their own name on it, the FBI also performs invasive, expensive and taxpayer-funded surveillance programs targeting countless American citizens who haven’t been accused of any crime.
But, ultimately, as Mulaney seems to understand, the possibility of the Executive Branch weaponizing one of the most powerful federal organizations in the country for even more aggressively political purposes than their usual snooping is a terrifying thought — it’s so scary and shocking that Patel’s eyes are popping out of his head.
