We were told our family was chosen because we seemed to have a "likable dynamic," which really meant that they thought they could shape us into their ideal TV family. For the record, their ideal family looked like a cross between the Brady Bunch and the Mansons: normal on the outside, but with a crazy, gooey center. However, my family was a smidgen too close to normal, so they gave us some help in the form of a "family friend." And by "family friend," I mean a guy we'd only met once. And by "a guy we'd only meant once," I mean this guy:
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"I know the family like the back of my cousin's brother's uncle's sister's mother's Kindergarten teacher's hand."
For whatever reason, redneck shows are huge. And since we live in Eastern Kentucky, the producers were expecting the full Deliverance experience. But none of us had wacky hillbilly accents, the kids are practically Ralph Lauren models, and the house was fairly well-kept -- not even a pet possum to play up for comedic value. So when they found out most "country folk" are just "normal folk," they started importing inbreds to chuckle up the sideshow.
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