Conservative Twitter Cancels Seth Rogen for Saying That His Child-Free Lifestyle Keeps Him ‘Psyched All the Time!’

For some absolutely bizarre reason, nothing sets the social conservative trad-LARPers of Twitter ablaze quite like the notion that the next generation of children won’t include a flock of little Seth Rogens.

In 2021, Rogen appeared on The Howard Stern Show to talk about his lifestyle that is so inextricable from his personal brand as a comedic actor and entertainer. Much like the characters Rogen plays in Judd Apatow projects, the Canadian-born actor, comic and filmmaker enjoys sitting on the couch in his boxers, smoking weed and watching cartoons – and, to his delight, Rogen’s wife, writer and actress Lauren Miller, likes all those things, too. As such, the couple enjoys their relaxed life of marijuana, movies and matrimonial bliss sans clothes and sans kids.

In 2024, however, online spaces are awash with fanatical “family values” conservatives who glorify an Evangelical lifestyle in which procreation is the greatest possible good and every personal decision made by a fertile individual is done with babies in mind. So, when Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon posted an image of Rogen from his Howard Stern appearance bearing a quote about the joys of childlessness (and a misspelling of his last name), right-wing Twitter launched into full-on hue-hue-hysteria over the entirely benign non-news that Rogen and Miller aren’t interested in recreating Knocked Up and bringing a gaggle of bearded babies into the world.

“I wouldn’t be able to do all this work that I like," Rogen said in the now-infamous appearance on The Howard Stern Show, “People are always like — it’s something I think I was uncomfortable answering this before — but they were like, ‘How do you do so much?’ It’s that I don’t have kids … I have nothing else to do.” Rogan explained that, when it comes to the “dual income no kids” lifestyle, his partner is an even bigger proponent than he is, saying of Miller, “She doesn’t want kids. I would say she wants kids less than I do. I could probably be talked into it. She’s like, ‘No.’” Rogen even went to far as to claim, "We have so much fun. I don’t know anyone who gets as much happiness out of their kids as we get out of our non-kids.”

Of course, nowhere in the interview does Rogen insinuate that he his philosophically anti-child, or that raising a Christian family should be illegal, or that abortions should be mandatory through the fourth trimester as Dillon's mob seems to think he did. To them, the mere existence of lifestyles outside their narrow view of acceptable ways of living is, somehow, a threat to the nuclear family that demands a response on social media. Rogen and Miller's decision to choose leisure over children doesn't affect anyone besides themselves, and, to anyone who takes offense to this non-issue, might I suggest relaxing with a Saturday morning spliff rolled on a $300 marble plate made by Seth Rogen?