We Asked Seafood Chefs How They’d Prepare Aquaman

Aquaman Rainbow Roll

Mike Collantes, sushi master and Michelin star chef, owner of Soseki: You’d have to use the whole fish — the whole merman — you wouldn’t want to waste anything. Thus, I’d do a multi-course dinner. I’d take the breast meat and filet that sashimi style and serve it first. I’d chargrill the thighs yakitori style, which is a very Japanese traditional style. Then a little steamed Aquaman cheeks with ginger scallion and hot oil on top.

I’m from Florida, so we’d definitely have to do some Old Bay seasoning. We’d also have to do some fish-and-chips action with tempura-friend biceps. Finally, we’d make sure we got all the meat off the bones and make a nice broth — a nice seafood ramen with all the bones.

If I were to make an “Aquaman Roll,” it’d be an “Aquaman Rainbow Roll.” Since he can talk to all the fish in the sea, he’d be the centerpiece and then there’d be a little salmon and a little tuna in there, smothered with some spicy mayo. 

Adam Teeter, sommelier, CEO and co-founder of VinePair: If we’re going sushi, one might think the best pairing is sake, but in fact, sake isn’t as great as you might think as you’re putting “rice on rice.” In this instance, I’d opt for a nice champagne instead. The bubbles will cleanse and awaken the palate and the acidity will pair perfectly with the rare Aquaman.

Aquaman Acqua Pazza

Coley Gaffney, chef specializing in Italian cooking and seafood, owner of Coley Cooks: I’m professionally trained in Italian food and seafood, and I immediately thought of a traditional dish in Italy called fish acqua pazza, which translates to “fish in crazy water.” It’s named that because all of these big robust flavors are in the broth — things like garlic, fennel, cherry tomatoes, white wine, capers and red pepper flakes for heat. 

With Aquaman specifically, the move is to cook him whole. Jason Momoa is a beautiful man; how could you not want to devour him whole? You have to preserve his beautiful form. The fish in this dish is traditionally poached, but Aquaman is quite large, so maybe we could put him on a spit and spit-roast him. Then we’d make the acqua pazza sauce separately, and put that over top of Aquaman after he comes off the fire.

While you were roasting him, you’d have to rub him all down with olive oil, salt and pepper, and because he is quite large, go heavy on the salt and pepper so it can penetrate deep down into the flesh. I’d also throw in some fresh herbs and some lemon down his throat.

As far as how long to cook Aquaman, I’m not sure because I’ve never cooked something as large as him. But the best course of action would be to use an internal probe thermometer, which will be inserted into the thickest part, which I’m going to say is probably the butt. You want to get him to 135 degrees, then you take him off. You can get him right up to temperature, but you don’t want to overcook him because, being so muscular, he might dry out. He doesn’t have a lot of body fat, so we don’t want the flesh to dry out or become tough and rubbery; we want to keep it tender, moist and flaky. Let him rest for a good 15 to 20 minutes before you start to slice him and eat him.

Teeter: Since we’re incorporating Aquaman in a classic Italian dish, let’s go with Vermentino, a classic Italian white wine that’s light, refreshing and will go great with the flavors in the dish.

Braised Aquaman

Heidi Skye, caterer and private chef: Jason Momoa, Aquaman? My future baby daddy Aquaman? OMG, like never. I would preserve that motherfucker. He is all muscles. Where’s the fat? I bet he wouldn’t even be tasty with no fat on that body.

If I was forced to prepare him, you would most definitely have to braise him — in my tears! Naw. I can’t do it. I couldn’t do it.

Teeter: For Aquaman braised in tears, try a nice Chablis.