‘Jacked’ Eric Andre Overwhelmed by Conan O’Brien’s Sexual Charisma

“My name is Eric Andre, and I feel moist about being Conan O’Brien’s friend,” Andre moans to the hot-and-bothered host of the Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend podcast. “Sopping,” Andre emphasizes. 

“To be fair, it’s quite humid in New York City,” O’Brien protests. But Andre isn’t hearing it: “That ain’t what I’m talking about, brother. Don’t you dare backpedal.” The sensual chemistry is palpable, even if Andre is the only one who is feeling it. “I’m still chalking it up to weather conditions,” says O’Brien, “not my sexual charisma.”

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But perhaps Conan doth protest too much? He’s dismissing the libidinous come-ons but just as quickly comments on Andre’s recently discovered brawn. “You launched into this room with pep and energy,” gushes O’Brien, “and you are jacked. You’re in great shape.”

“I’m not in great shape,” blushes Andre, “but I’ll take it.”

“You are!” insists Conan. 

Andre admits that he’s been downing a few drinks lately, which cause him to “get a little pudgy.” But when he doesn’t drink, he slims up. Conan couldn’t agree more: “You slim up real good.”

Are we really going to blame all this heat on the NYC humidity?

The two comics continue to make goo-goo eyes over their shared love of rum, with Andre telling O’Brien, “You got a pirate vibe.” Andre doesn’t know the half of it. “When I’m on rum,” the host admits, “I sprout an eyepatch.”

Enough with the flirting! “We have things to talk about,” scolds Conan. “We can’t be screwing around!”

“Am I distracting you?” asks Andre. The answer to that question is so obvious it doesn’t need a reply. 

“I was very excited that I'd be seeing you today,” says O’Brien. “I think the last time we talked it was over Zoom and then today, you come bursting in the door. We hugged. We kissed for quite a long time. You became moist. I felt your musculature.” 

In case anyone thinks the affection is just the stuff of comedy, O’Brien doubles down. “You’re a very funny man. You’re a very creative man. You’re a force for good,” he says. “I love you, you’re great.”

Of course, the feeling is mutual. “I love you too,” says Andre.