‘You Can’t Fire Me from My Own Club!’: Joe Rogan Opens His Own Comedy Club

“I’m drunk and on mushrooms in my new club!” 

That was Joe Rogan’s battle cry from his just-opened comedy joint in Austin, Texas, an art-deco, UFO-themed venue that promises a safe space for Rogan and Rogan-approved stand-up. “This is as high as I’ve ever been onstage,” he shouted to the opening night crowd. “You can’t fire me from my own club, bitch!” (But can you be arrested? Magic mushrooms are illegal in Texas last we checked.)

The new club, which presumably has a two-alpha-brain-supplement minimum, sounds like it has a libertarian personality disorder, according to accounts from The Hollywood Reporter. On the one hand, the comics have never been freer to tell trans jokes and shout gay slurs, all of which reportedly happened “within seconds of the first comic taking the stage.” On the other, comedy patrons themselves are on complete lockdown, surrendering their phones and submitting to facial-scan security checks upon entry. Guess it’s okay if it’s not mandated by the government.

Who better to help kick things off than Roseanne Barr? She showed up to celebrate “this wonderful mothership for comedians. It’s so great in the green room with everybody up there being drunk and smoking pot.” Barr regaled the crowd with stories of “fucking libtards” and Satanic Disney like an Alex Jones podcast brought to life.

It’s a dream come true for Rogan, who no longer feels like he has to  “be nice to comedy club owners” since he is The Man now. You can check out the Comedy Mothership yourself if you’re in Austin but be careful — the club is located in a neighborhood that has devolved from “slightly sketchy” to “no go,” according to locals. “I think I just like risks,” Rogan said during a crowd Q&A session. “I’m like, ‘Oh yeah, let’s buy a building on a street filled with crack addicts.’ Like I want someone to say ‘no’ to me. They’re all like, ‘Okay, go ahead.'”

And go ahead he did! The club’s cosmic decorations — a UFO hung with a fishing line in the lobby, a Stargate-esque arch over the mainstage and “Hecklers will be alienated” signs — should be embraced by fans of Rogan’s paranormal obsessions. And in case you still have trouble making sure this is Rogan’s place? The lady outside waving the “UNVAXXED SPERM” sign should let you know that you found it.