The Funniest Moments, Lines and Easter Eggs in ‘Glass Onion’

‘If I ever meet Jared Leto, I am gonna whoop his kombucha-brewin’ ass’
The Funniest Moments, Lines and Easter Eggs in ‘Glass Onion’

Expectations for Glass Onion, Rian Johnson’s highly anticipated follow-up to his 2019 surprise hit Knives Out, were very high, with many wondering if Johnson would be able to top the clever plot twists and snappy dialogue of the original. The answer to that question has yet to require a Detective Benoit Blanc-type. The praise has been universal. In fact, most consider Glass Onion to be every bit as good as Knives Out, if not better. And so, what you’ll find below is the best of the best — i.e., the funniest moments, lines and Easter eggs in this sorta sequel.

As a quick character guide for the uninitiated: Blanc, of course, is played by Daniel Craig; Birdie Jay by Kate Hudson; Helen by Janelle Monáe; Duke by Dave Bautista; and Miles by Edward Norton. 

Birdie Jay’s Assistant Reading an Email from Birdie Jay’s ‘Secret Phone’

“‘Ms. Jay, I am writing to inform you that the proposed Bangladesh factory is notoriously one of the world’s biggest sweatshops. Please advise.’ And then you replied: ‘Sounds perfect, thanks.’ With your Memoji dabbing. Birdie, please tell me you did not think sweatshops are where they make sweatpants.”

The Reason Birdie Jay Had Her Phone Taken Away in the First Place

Partygoer 1: Why can’t she have her phone?
Partygoer 2: Because she’s mean. 
Birdie Jay: No, because she’s afraid that I will tweet an ethnic slur — again. 
Birdie Jay’s Assistant: Yes. And you agreed: No phone for the rest of the media cycle.
Birdie Jay: I didn’t even know that that word referred to Jewish people, I thought it was a generic term for “cheap”! 
Birdie Jay’s Assistant: “Jewy”? 
Birdie Jay: Everything is so woke these days, it’s out-of-control.

Helen Throwing Some Serious Shade at Jared Leto

“If I ever meet Jared Leto, I am gonna whoop his kombucha-brewin’ ass.”

The Reason All of the Characters Use Androids Instead of iPhones

In a video breakdown of a scene from Knives Out that Johnson did for Vanity Fair a couple years ago, he let the cat out of the bag on Apple’s product-placement policy: They’ll give a movie production iPhones for characters to use in the film, so long as the bad guy is never shown using one. And so, in order to avoid people trying to figure out who the killer is by looking at what phone they use, Johnson made sure the characters in Glass Onion exclusively had Androids.

Benoit Calling It as He Sees It

Blanc: He put pineapple juice in his drink! It’s so dumb.
Birdie Jay: It’s so dumb, it’s brilliant!
Benoit Blanc: No! It’s just dumb!

Duke, Prioritizing the Essentials

“Ma! Where’s my spear gun? I gotta pack!”

Miles Pissing Off Beatles Fans Everywhere With His Acoustic Version of ‘Blackbird’

Birdie Jay: Serenading me with my song?
Miles: On the guitar Paul wrote it on. I know. Legit, right? But look at your face. It was worth it. (Notices others, drops the guitar to the ground.) My friends!

Another Apple Easter Egg

Blanc suggests whoever solves the murder mystery dinner should win an iPad, which he solves it as soon as it begins. As a result, a deflated Miles just tosses Blanc his iPad from off-screen. Toward the end of the movie, Miles says, “If this was just us playing my murder mystery game, which we should have been doing all weekend, then Blanc wins an iPad Pro this time.” 

There’s a double easter egg here because a) this skirts around Apple’s “no bad guys” product-placement rule because technically Miles is never shown touching the iPad, let alone using it; and b) that particular iPad model that Miles tosses Blanc from off-screen actually was an iPad Pro. 

The Rare Bit of Acceptable Clue Slander

Helen: You must be really great at Clue, huh?
Blanc: I’m very bad at dumb things. My Achilles’ heel. Ticking boxes, running around, searching all the rooms — it’s just a terrible, terrible game.

Blanc on Helen’s Newfound Secret Weapon

“I think maybe you should take up drinking. You are killing it!”

A Not-So-Subtle Dunk on the Owner of Twitter

Blanc: Like everyone in the world, I assumed Miles Bron was a complicated genius. But why? Look into the clear center of this glass onion — Miles Bron is an idiot!
Miles Bron: Oh, please, just tell us who tried to kill me.
Blanc: Nobody tried to kill you, you vainglorious buffoon!

Poking Fun at Pandemic Trends

Mask etiquette faux pas, sourdough starters, tie-dyeing at home, playing Among Us over Zoom — Glass Onion is worth a second watch just to catch all the references to all the weird things we did during the height of quarantine. 

The Repeated, Considered Usage of the Word ‘Shitballs’

The movie perfectly used this word twice in the span of 45 seconds, all thanks to Jeremy Renner’s small-batch hot sauce: “Oh, shitballs!”

This Great Mid-Sentence Entrance

Blanc: Forget the hydro fuels and the sweatshops... (Peg runs into the room) ...and the consensual cuckolding for cable news assignments…
Bird Jay: Sorry, what?!?

All Hail Derol!

Best running gag in the movie? “That’s Derol. He’s just staying here. He’s going through things, but he’s not part of the experience at all.”

More murder mysteries need a stoned loser popping up every now and again, contributing absolutely nothing to the plot. Fun fact: Derol is played by Noah Segan, who also played Trooper Wagner in Knives Out

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