If You’re Not Horny, You’re Dying

To be horny is to be at least a little dumb. That’s just science, as data indicates that we’re more prone to making bad decisions while in a state of sexual arousal.

But new research also seems to indicate that, for men, horniness is tied to a longer life span, too (even if they happen to be dumber for it). According to a recent study of more than 20,000 people, guys with low libidos are almost twice as likely to die prematurely compared to their male hornball brethren. 

In the past, scientists have established a link between erectile dysfunction and cardiovascular issues, but this was one of the first studies to look at sexual interest as a barometer for health and longevity. To do so, researchers tracked the health and libidos of 20,969 men and women for nearly a decade through a series of lab visits, surveys and medical records. They found that when men over 40 weren’t interested in sex, they were significantly more likely to die from cancer or “all-cause” mortality (i.e., death from any cause). Interestingly, the same wasn’t true for women who reported lower libidos overall. 

“Interestingly, our study suggests that lack of sexual interest is associated with all-cause mortality in males, even after adjustment for age, diabetes, hypertension, dyslipidemia, smoking, alcohol intake, BMI, education, marital status, frequency of laughter and psychological distress,” the study authors concluded. “Based on our results, we suggest that lack of sexual interest itself contributes to an increased risk of all-cause mortality, independent of established risk factors in men over 40 years old.”

So for these guys, it’s not that they’re dying of thirst. They might actually be dying from a lack of it.