Wanna Smell Rich? Elon’s Musk Is Here to Take Your Holiday by Storm

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

We know what you’re thinking. “Cracked is shilling for Elon Musk now? Wait, doesn’t that guy already have enough money? Why does he have a fragrance line like he’s Paris Hilton or some such?” To answer your questions, in order: No -- we haven’t sold out that hard (yet); he sure does; and he doesn’t (and Paris Hilton is somehow the more likable industrialist here). 

Elon’s Musk isn’t actually associated with the meme baron in any way, so you’ll probably want to pick it up before he slaps them with a cease and desist, because you don’t have to like the guy to admit he must smell pretty good. He’s probably taking hourly Jacuzzis in 300 gallons of vanilla-infused virgins’ blood.

This cologne may not be an ethically challenging fountain of youth, but it smells pretty good, too. Take a whiff, and we defy you not to instantly detect the scent of newly minted Benjamins. This 60ml mix of bergamot, ylang-ylang, cloves, amber, and lemon will trick everyone into thinking you’re rich, which is basically the same as being rich, if we’ve learned anything from Inventing Anna.

If your newfound sense of wealth has left you feeling generous, snagging a bottle of Elon’s Musk for a friend or loved one is guaranteed to be the high point of any holiday gift exchange session this year. When gales of laughter, ironic and otherwise, rain down after this little treat is revealed, you’ll have secured your place in the Valhalla of gift-giving immortality, provided you don’t get sued into oblivion first. But hey, we've been firing shots at the guy for literally years now and escaped his litigious wrath, so this’ll probably be okay, too. We think.

Right now, you can get your own bottle of the season’s greatest stocking stuffer, Elon’s Musk, for just $75. You can even get it with free shipping when you use the promo code FREEELONSMUSK during checkout.

Prices subject to change.