Being a celebrity is, like, so hard, you guys. You have to be a role model, but you’re also incredibly hot, so you’re constantly attacked with opportunities to not be that, and those opportunities sometimes become babies. Heck, maybe you just don’t want the piece of your heart that’s walking around outside your body to be followed by photographers 24 hours a day. Whatever the case, it occasionally becomes necessary to “I don’t know her” your child, but when the public’s nose is firmly shoved into your business, such things are bound to come out eventually.

William Randolph Hearst

William Randolph Hearst

(Library of Congress/Wikimedia Commons)

The father of yellow journalism was also father to a daughter with Marion Davies who was passed off as Davies’s niece her whole life because having a movie star mistress was one thing, but an illegitimate child was another. There’s no official proof, but it was an open secret at the time, and Hearst was certainly way too involved in his mistress’s niece’s life.

Gavin Rossdale

Rossdale had a five-year relationship with artist Pearl Lowe in the ‘80s but still claims he somehow didn’t know her daughter, who was officially his goddaughter and whose “school parents’ evenings” he attended, was also his until 2004. He even told Lowe he’d never speak to her again if she let the child take a DNA test “and he’s kept his word,” apparently because it made Gwen Stefani mad, which is fair. She’s way too perky not to be secretly terrifying.

Sisqo

In his “Thong Song” heyday, Sisqo reportedly fathered a child with a 14-year-old Swiss girl. She says he’s refused to take a DNA test, but her claim is good enough that the courts legally declared him her son’s father and ordered him to pay tens of thousands of dollars in child support. Switzerland doesn’t fuck around.

Jesse Jackson

In 2001, a married Jackson was forced to admit he had a nearly two-year-old daughter with a staffer after tabloids threatened to admit it for him. He was ironically serving as “spiritual adviser” for Bill Clinton at the time, probably advising him to wrap it up.

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