It’s hard to be told that you’re literally God for half a century without becoming completely insufferable, and Eric Clapton has proved that over and over again. From being a jackass to women to being a jackass to minorities to being a jackass to people who don’t want to catch COVID-19, Clapton has grown from a bratty young man to a crotchety old man without ever considering not being a huge douchebag.

The “Keep Britain White” Rant

During a 1976 Birmingham concert, Clapton asked if there were any “foreigners” in the house tonight -- and then told them all to get out. “Not just leave the hall, leave our country,” he clarified, before using a bunch of words we can’t reprint and ending with an admonishment to “keep Britain white.” Sooooo. That was a whole thing.

Alice Ormsby-Gore

In 1968, the 23-year-old Clapton began a five-year relationship with 17-year-old Alice Ormsby-Gore. Yes, 17. He also got her into heroin, which she was responsible for buying because she “​​thought it helped him not to have to face the full horror, himself, of scoring his own heroin supply,” and she eventually died from her addiction, while he admitted he was “obsessed with Pattie ” the whole time.

Pattie Boyd

"Layla" single

(Polydor Records/Wikimedia Commons)

Supermodel Pattie Boyd, who was rather inconveniently married to his best friend, George Harrison, inspired some of Clapton’s greatest hits, including “Layla” and “Wonderful Tonight,” but she seems to have barely been a person to him. He later acknowledged that he “coveted Pattie because she belonged to a powerful man who seemed to have everything I wanted,” and tried to cure himself of his infatuation by dating her sister, because they were apparently interchangeable.

His Other COVID-19 Song

"This Has Gotta Stop"

(Eric Clapton/YouTube)

That wasn’t even his only attack of anti-lockdown musical diarrhea. A year later, he released “This Has Gotta Stop,” which would have been on the nose enough without lines like “Enough is enough/I can’t take this B.S. any longer,” which essentially renders it “Old Man Yells at Cloud: The Song.”

Antivax Sentiments

Despite likening wearing a mask to committing highway robbery, Clapton got the COVID vaccine and subsequently decried “the propaganda said the vaccine was safe for everyone” after suffering “disastrous” side effects. The side effects in question? Some brief numbness in his hands and feet.

Jam For Freedom

Clapton went all in on the wrong side of history by refusing to perform at venues that enforced COVID safety precautions and even personally donated more than $1,000 and a van to a band called Jam For Freedom who violated such precautions at shows. Basically, you know what to do if you want Eric Clapton’s money.

$11 Lawsuit

In 2021, Clapton won a lawsuit against a 55-year-old German widow who just wanted to offload her late husband’s CD collection. Not knowing, she claims, that one of the Clapton CDs was a bootleg, she listed it on eBay for $11, and Clapton decided that couldn’t stand, winning $4,000 in court costs from a poor woman just trying to put her life back together.

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