Arrested Development: 15 Arresting Quotes From The Bluth Family

The Bluth family have been through their fair share of hardships and tribulations, but they never lost their ability to say truly deranged things. Whether it’s Tobias’ constant sexual innuendos or Lucille’s non-stop roast sessions, the Bluth-Funke tribe never cease to amaze. Here are 15 quotes from America's favorite crime family.
Mayonegg

Fox
George Michael: “Oh it’s so cute. She sometimes takes a little pack of mayonnaise and she’ll squirt it in her mouth all over and then she’ll take an egg and kind of mmm mmm. She calls it a mayonegg.”
George Michael to Michael, about Ann… at least I think that’s her name?
Related:
Tobias In A Nutshell

Fox
Tobias: “I’m afraid I just blue myself.”
Related: The Murder Dollhouses That Changed Forensic Science
Maeby Stay In School

Fox
Narrator: “And that's when Maeby decided to become a devout Christian.”
Maeby: “Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold necklaces with the "T" on it?”
Michael: “That's a cross.”
Maeby: “Across from where?”
This conversation happens after Maeby realizes she can ditch school for religious purposes, but it’s clear she should probably keep going to class.
Related: These Games Make Staying In Better Than Going Out
Did you Enjoy Your Meal?
Lindsay: “Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.”
Lucille: “Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.”
Related: 8 Happy Meal Toys That Should’ve Stayed in the Box
Buster’s Defense Tactic

Netflix
Buster: “Mom always told us to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.”
Related: The 8 Most Disgusting Animal Defenses
Roast Master Tobias
Tobias to Michael: “First of all, we’re doing this for her. Okay? Because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second, I know you’re the big marriage expert. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead.”
Tobias is to be featured on the next Comedy Central Roast.
Related: 15 Apex Pratfalls We Just Had To Share
Gob's Counting

Fox
Gob: “The zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.”
Related: Study Claims That Going To The Movies Counts As Exercise
George Sr. On Buster
George Sr: “Maybe it was the 11 months spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus, but he was our miracle baby. I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care so…he turned out a little soft, you know? A little doughy. I don’t know, maybe it was my fault, maybe I ignored the guy.”
Related: Wait ... Is Ron Howard George Michael's Grandfather In 'Arrested Development'?
The Arrangement

Fox
Lindsay Bluth: “We’re all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I’m going to sleep with my daughter, and you’re going to sleep with my husband.”
The same arrangement my family has except we’re all in the same bed Willy Wonka style.
Related: The Comedy Card Boom: Can We Start (Unboxing) It?
The Funcle
Buster: “You lied to me. You said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE!”
This could have been a great new twist for the Star Wars franchise.
Related: Red Dead Redemption 2 Mapped Onto My Dumb Dating History
Movie Night

Fox
George Sr: “I’m going crazy with the boredom, Michael. At least in prison, we had knife fights and we had movie night. And once, both.”
The most dangerous viewing of Shrek Forever After ever witnessed.
Related: Why Late Night Is Over (And Is Never Going Away)
I’m Poor Magazine
Lindsay: “Great, so now we don’t have a car or a jet? Why don’t we just take an ad out in ‘I’m Poor’ magazine?”
Related: 5 Famous Magazine Covers With Crazy Stories You Never Knew
What Could It Cost?

Fox
Lucille: “I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?”
Remember when Bill Gates guessed Pizza Rolls cost $22?
Related: Fussing About The 'Avatar' Sequels' Cost Is Nonsense
Tobias Funke: The First Analrapist

Fox
Tobias: “Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.”
Always triple-check work emails for mistakes like this!
Related: Plenty Of Songs Still Work If You Remove Every Other Beat
Saddam Hussein

Fox
Michael: “We’ve got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.”
George Sr.: “I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work!”
What’s ironic is that Saddam did audition for the Soup Nazi but did not get a callback.
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Top Image: FOX