Enjoyers of incredibly obnoxious people on planes getting punched, rejoice. Recently, one of the online bits of news du jour was video of what seemed to be a class-A dickhead continuously bothering Mike Tyson until the boxer finally stood up and delivered a couple choice blows to his noggin. Based on the video and the information of the other travelers, it seemed pretty clearly deserved, but you still never know if it was all a master plan to extort some sort of settlement or damages from Tyson, by a guy weaponizing his talents of being a massive pain in everybody’s ass.

Lucky for Tyson, it was announced today that there will be no charges brought against him for the aerial attack, with reports that basically, in the most formal and legal way possible, say “yeah, that guy needed to get hit.” The district attorney cited in part the “conduct of the victim leading up to the incident” when explaining why no charges would be brought. Honestly, that’s pretty impressive, and if this guy is capable of change, it should be a motivating moment for him to do so. When the justice system of the United States comes together and decides that you’re an asshole? That’s quite an eye-opener.

The victim, to his credit, did also request that charges not be brought in the case, which I guess is a singular redeeming moment for him. That would have been the ultimate dick move, to not only be so annoying as to goad Mike Tyson into punching you in the head, but then forcing him and other people on the flight to go through the further drawn out annoyance of testimony, trial, and so on.

Knowing that the victim was drunk when it happened, I can also understand that, even if you’re the plaintiff, having the details of a s**tfaced outing reviewed and examined in court seems like maybe the biggest nightmare of all time. It’s not too surprising he wanted to take his licks and retreat. I mean hey, the guy was flying first class, so he’s probably doing fine.

Top Image: birzer/Pixabay

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.

Forgot Password?