ATTENTION: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE PENTAVERATE

I love Mike Myers, I really do, but The Pentaverate is bad… Like really bad. While there are a few redeeming jokes and some genuinely beautiful production design, the show just can't find its footing between adult themes and juvenile humor. This is coming from someone who enjoyed Cat In The Hat, mind you. Here are 5 of the best and 10 of the worst jokes from Mike Myers’ new Netflix series, The Pentaverate.

Bad: Mike’s Twig And Berries

Naked Scene The Pentaverate

Netflix

When you’re someone like me who idolized Mike Myers growing up, it's very hard to come to terms with having to look at his meat and two veg a lot during a scene in the final episode. I get that its #hisbodyhischoice, but it feels all too familiar to the time you saw your dad showering as a kid, and realized that one day you too would grow hair down there.

Bad: Hillary’s Emails

Rex Smith The Pentaverate

Netflix

A big issue in The Pentaverate is that it not only feels like Mike Myers hasn't made comedy in a decade, it feels like he hasn't been on earth for several years. Rex Smith is Myer’s parody of Alex Jones. The commentator uses a lot of dated far right propaganda, most notably of which is Hillary's emails, a reference no one has made since 2017. 

Good: The Family Friendly Re-Edit

Mayo On Face The Pentaverate

Netflix

So maybe the end result is a little juvenile, but its got the bones of a fantastic bit. The joke consists of Myers playing pool with a group of Americans who swear in almost every sentence they utter. A Netflix CEO then cuts in to say they’ll do a re-edit to make it more family friendly. The recut ends up being so much more vulgar, as you realize Myers had been hiding euphemisms for sex in the dialogue all along.

Bad: Bruce Has A Foot Fetish

Foot Fetish The Pentaverate

Netflix

Bruce Baldwin has two jokes in the series about being sexually attracted to feet. Ok I will let Myers slide with one joke about Bruce liking feet, but they bring back the joke four episodes later with Bruce saying “I like feet. No shame.” Definitely one of those jokes that won’t even cause a little bit of air to come out of your nose, let alone laugh.

Bad: Mentor’s Boston Accent

Mentor The Pentaverate

Netflix

In the first episode, you meet Mentor, the Pentaverate’s supercomputer. You think “that's a cool idea for a character.” Then you hear him speak and wish he never existed. A man from Boston fell into the supercomputer. For a taste of his humor, one of his lines is “You know what else I fell into, your mom’s vag!”

Good: America Is Clearer Than Canada

Canada and USA The Pentaverate

Netflix

Myers is at his best when he’s breaking the fourth wall, there I said it! One of the best examples of this from The Pentaverate is how all the shots in Canada are grainy and a completely outdated aspect ratio. When the crew enters America, the camera quality and color grading improve drastically. Good one, Mike!

Bad: The Kiss The Star Challenge

Kiss the star challenge The Pentaverate

Netflix

When even was the last internet challenge? It feels like Myers hasn't been online since planking, Tebowing and the ice bucket challenge were still around. The Kiss The Star challenge consists of someone trying to kiss their own anus on camera. Wayne Campbell is shaking his head.

Good: The Opening Credits

Opening Credits The Pentaverate

Netflix

Every episode opens with a short opening credits sequence, where the narrator explains what the Pentaverate is and recaps the previous episode. As you get further in the series the narrator gets angrier and angrier at the notion that people may be skipping his recap. It’s solid!

Bad: One Can Get A Bit Vommie

Vomit The Pentaverate

Netflix

Don’t know what to do in a serious scene? Maybe have someone vomit or fart? That’ll fix it. This was apparently Myers thought when he added a useless vomit scene late in the series. Seriously, some of these jokes are so juvenile the writers of “Epic Movie” would leave them on the cutting room floor.

Bad: Goop’s Vagina Candle

Goop The Pentaverate

Netflix

Again, with his finger on the pulse of pop culture, Myers references Gwenyth Paltrow's vagina candle. The candle was big news for about a month in 2020, but a pretty old reference by now. 

Good: I’m Maria Menounos

Maria Menounos The Pentaverate

Netflix

This one got a big laugh from me. The Pentaverate has their own television network that plays on all the TV’s in the palace, hosted by none other than Maria Menounos. There is just something so funny about how no matter what she says concerning the Pentaverate, she always signs off “I’m Maria Menounos.”

Bad: The Tug Test

Tug Test The Pentaverate

Netflix

The leader of the Lichtenstein guard administers “tug tests” to check if people are actually circumcised or not. Watch Mike get his penis pulled on by the captain in a scene critics are calling “I didn’t actually get that far, I stopped watching after the first episode.”

Good: Shrek Saves The Day

Shrek The Pentaverate

Netflix

Hey, we like to have fun here, why not include Shrek in an episode? While I’m unsure if it was supposed to be someone in a costume or the real Shrek, he ends up saving Myers from sasquatch while “All Star” plays in the background. Thanks Shrek!

Please, please, please, if they greenlight another Austin Powers, let it be better than The Pentaverate.

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