'Star Citizen' Devs Are Blowing Their Crowdfunded Budget On Bedsheet Physics

The people who criticize the bizarrely shady development of $450 million+ of crowdfunded Ouroboros Star Citizen all lack perspective. Naysayers just need to see it less like a game, and more like a constant stream of hilarious news that some people bought so that the rest of us could enjoy. We can spend all the time we want calling the devs hypocrites, but they too forced themselves to undergo the process of ditching the already perfect first-person perspective in favor of an apparently even more perfect first-person perspective based on the inner workings of birds' necks. Seriously. Just a few months after we learned that the game was dealing with a roofie attack epidemic that left a bunch of innocent backers butt-naked in the middle of space, we're learning that one of the reasons the game is taking so long is that the devs are working hard on creating very realistic bedsheets.

That's right. After they finally solved their serious problem with massive delays (by removing their official deadlines altogether), the people at Cloud Imperium Games are finally tackling space games' biggest problem: bed sheets that don't behave in a realistic manner.

As a part of Squadron 42, Star Citizen's also infinitely delayed campaign, CIG is investing heavily in the research and development of bed sheets that will look and deform realistically when characters enter and hopefully have Mass Effect-style sex in them. It looks like they're straight-up trolling, but the game's AI team was wearing a very realistic straight face when they said that. The fans are loving it.

Top Image: Cloud Imperium Games