'Metal Gear Solid 3' Has Been Completely Destroyed By Speedrunners
Dedicated MGS players have managed to deactivate all nuclear arms in MGSV Online for the PS3 even though that was supposedly an impossible challenge, so it's bananas that it took them up until right now to beat MGS3's vilest enemy: just some goddamn ladder. Yes, speedrunners, the greatest players in all of offline-land have spent the past nearly 20 years seeing their runs hindered by a ladder that no one could climb in under 3 minutes. That might not seem like much, but there are games whose entire speedruns take less than 3 minutes. They've finally managed to bypass the entire thing via a glitch that has Naked Snake lifting off in a glorious T-pose,
then getting teleported to the very end of the ladder.
And well, that's it. We hope readers enjoy our speedarticles about speedruns! Later everyone!
Actually, we're aware that not all gamers care about speedrunning, so let's humor them by talking about the hilarity behind this iconic ladder moment. Metal Gear Solid fans have grown so accustomed to nonsense that we never find it weird that Metal Gear Solid 3's most iconic scene is just Snake climbing a very long ladder, but newcomers deserve an explanation for why that is. There are two possible explanations, and the most likely to be true is naturally the most bizarre one. Maybe Hideo Kojima's infinite genius devised a ladder long enough to allow for players to listen to the entirety of the game's awesome James Bond-inspired opening theme before they're done climbing.
But the song actually only begins playing 30 seconds into the climb, so maybe he accidentally designed a connecting area so stupidly long that he had to find a way to fill it, and that's the lengthiest song that he had. We'd think that no way he'd commit such level design negligence, but Metal Gear Solid V also features a nearly 8-minute long scene where the villain makes his big speech, but he runs out of words only 5 minutes in. Oh, is the remainder of the cutscene dedicated to Snake's inspiring response? Nope, Snake just remains silent while they both stare at each other for 2 goddamn minutes.
(while listening to MGSV's much weaker theme song)
Top Image: Konami