Despite being Paramount +'s most successful launch ever, the Halo tv series committed the worst possible crime when it comes to entertainment, that of being too bland to even be considered bad. People expected the series that they're religiously watching because it has the name of a beloved game attached to it to get better by the second episode, but that's just not how things happen. If anything, the first episode is going to be the best one because that's where they spent all of those space credits to reel people in. Predictably, we got less action than in the first episode, which again isn't necessarily bad when the action looked like this:

Master Chief refuses to shoot from afar for undisclosed reasons

Paramount

We've seen an Archaeologist/College professor doing this much more effectively.

Viewers don't need Halo expertise or military expertise to understand how dumb this is. Unnecessarily risking dying to the buffoons who brought a knife to a gunfight is a bit out of character for the greatest soldier in the world.

Continuation of the unecessary sword fight

Paramount

Hell, even viewers with just basic Halo knowledge know the Master Chief would die merely from being in the vicinity of those swords.

The nearly actionless episode 2 marks a steep departure from the pilot – and from what we'd expect from a Halo show in general, but there's no time for that because there are even more jarring elements to talk about! As alluded to above, this show seems like it's not meant for Halo fans nor for fans of things in general. After the bizarre action scene above, the Chief is joined by Kwan Ha, someone we assume he'll have to protect throughout the series.

Chief and Kwan

Paramount

Yerin Ha, the actress playing her does a good job, and the character isn't unlikeable either. Pablo Schreiber, who plays Master Chief is also cool, but it very quickly starts to feel like another thing. It feels like another game that probably felt more adaptation-friendly from the get-go.

Ellie and Joel from 'The Last Of Us'

Sony, Naughty Dog

And we can't say any of this is straight-up bad. What we can say, however, is that this has gone from being the story of a soldier on an alien planet accompanied only by his AI waifu to being an escort mission, everyone's favorite kind of mission. Why isn't the weird but endearing relationship between Master Chief and Cortana a big deal here?

Uncanny Valley Cortana

Paramount

Eh, ok – we kinda don't mind this Cortana getting ditched.

We get it, the formula did wonders for the reimagining of both Wolverine and Kratos in Logan and the last God Of War respectively, but it won't work every time. That's especially true when the show also brings space politics into the fold, a decision that only did wonders for the Star Trek fans who wanted to see Star Wars crash and burn.

One thing that totally rocks, however, is how the Master Chief took off his helmet right in the first episode, and now he just says f*ck it and removes the entire suit. We don't think it's necessarily a good thing, but it's at least something that'll piss off toxic fans and confuse everyone else in a hilarious manner. Why is Master Chief wearing something akin to a Marvel hero suit for such a long time?

Master Chief (without armor) and armored Spartans

Paramount

Imagine being a Halo historian tasked with teaching the future generations about a Master Chief show where he's sometimes the only character in the frame who doesn't look like Master Chief.

 

Top Image: Microsoft

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