Adam West's Batman Crew Kept Trying To Make Us Believe Ridiculous Sex Stories

By:
Adam West's Batman Crew Kept Trying To Make Us Believe Ridiculous Sex Stories

When Adam West and Burt Ward graced TV screens in colorful costumes, it's possible they felt their masculinity threatened. This would explain why they kept telling absurd stories bragging of their sexual prowess.

Burt Ward claimed that the network confronted him, saying that he bulged too much at the crotch through his tight costume. Adam West was fine, apparently—"Turkish towels in his undershorts" was enough to conceal the Bat bulge—but Robin's package stood out in a way that rendered the entire program obscene. To solve this, says Ward, they brought in a doctor, who prescribed pills to reduce his size. Ward tried a few but quickly abandoned them, fearing the long-term effects on his fertility. 

We don't believe this story for a second. If ABC thought Robin's costume revealed too much of a bulge, the costume department would have fixed this. They could have given him actual trousers, or they could have simply loosened or padded the existing costume. They would not have given him penis reduction pills, pills that risk huge health complications and that in fact do not exist. No one would ever invent such pills, there'd be no demand for such pills. Penises can actually be concealed very well with a little maneuvering without cutting off the blood supply pharmaceutically. 

Adam West, meanwhile, had a story about the time he showed up to an orgy with Frank Gorshin, who played The Riddler on the show. They hadn't even known it was an orgy at first, they just thought it was a party, and when they realized what was happening, they each slipped into their characters, trying to engage with the other participants as Riddler and Batman. For this, they were kicked out of the orgy.

While not quite as offensively self-aggrandizing as Burt Ward's bulge story, this anecdote too leaves us skeptical. What orgy would ever expel Adam West for acting in character as Batman? None we've ever hosted. If West wanted to spin a convincing yarn, he should have claimed to have attended an orgy in which everyone insisted on him staying in character. West and Gorshin (in this alt story) dropped the act partway through, as they were caught up in the action, and then the others around them got frustrated and expelled them. 

We’re giving away four pieces of art from legendary Batman creatives Alex Ross and Frank Miller courtesy of our friends at The Haul. Enter your email below for a chance to win and learn more here.

Sign up for the Cracked Newsletter

Get the best of Cracked sent directly to your inbox!

For more on Adam West (RIP), check out:

5 Beloved Kids Shows That Were Perverted Behind The Scenes

Why Were There No Adam West Cameos In 'Batman' Movies?

5 Reasons the '60s Batman TV Show Is Better Than You Think

Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for more stuff no one should see. 

Top image: ABC

Scroll down for the next article

MUST READ

Forgot Password?