Every Christmas, The Bestselling British Single Is A New Song About Sausage Rolls
We asked readers what holiday tradition they'd be happy skipping from now on. Dana H. and Sarah H. spoke out against the creepy interloper known as Elf on the Shelf. Kris M. and Macaco C. say that modern tech has left old traditions redundant—Christmas cards and even in-person meetings. Glenn W. and Alyssa N. called out the absurd advertising tradition of wrapping cars in bows so customers buy them as gifts (a tradition that may or may not actually exist, outside of car companies' delusions).
A few different readers complained about Christmas music, specifically about how it takes over the airwaves for so long. Andrew R. and Jeanette H. both pointed out how it's torture on employees who have to listen to it all day. Michael S. said that some hero at his workplace would keep switching to a different station, but it was no use: Someone else would always switch it back.
America might be the worst when it comes to lengthy Christmas music seasons—other countries at least try to wait till December before letting loose—but the UK has its own special Christmas music obsession. In Britain, they have a tradition about wondering what song will top the charts on Christmas day. Sales in the week leading up to Christmas are so high that whichever song's number one that week might well also be the bestselling song of the entire year.
Sometimes, the song is just a regular single that would be popular no matter when it was released, like 1992's “I Will Always Love You.” Sometimes, it's a charity song, like 2012's "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother." Sometimes, it's a Christmas song, like 1985's "Merry Christmas Everyone." Sometimes it's a charity Christmas song, like 1984's " Do They Know It's Christmas?," one of the worst songs in history.
For many years in the 21st century, the Christmas number one came from whoever won that year's season of Popstars or The X Factor, taking most of the fun out predicting what it'll be. For the last three years, however, the Christmas number one has been a novelty song about sausage rolls, a new one every year. In 2018, a YouTuber named LadBaby with no previous musical experience recorded "We Built This City," which was a parody of the Starship song only about sausage rolls instead of rock 'n roll.
In 2019, he and his wife Roxanne did "I Love Sausage Rolls," another parody that did the exact same word substitution as the last one.
In 2020, they came back again with "Don't Stop Me Eatin'," a sausage roll-themed version of "Don't Stop Believing."
At the time of writing, we don't know what'll take the title in 2021. But the money's on another LadBaby song, this one a collaboration with Elton John and Ed Sheeran. This song is called "Sausage Rolls for Everyone."
This would give LadBaby the all-time record for consecutive Christmas number ones, taking the title from The Beatles and The Spice Girls. Still better than giving the honor to a reality TV winner, though.
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Top image: LadBaby