Terry Crews' Shilling For Amazon & 3 Other Bizarre Commercials
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Well folks, it seems beloved actor Terry Crews has finally taken some time off from his busy schedule of being a badass, serving as the glue that singlehandedly holds together Brooklyn Nine-Nine and unabashedly rocking out to the absolute banger that is "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton to take a hard turn into the wonderful world of advertisements.
Yep, in a sponsored TikTok video earlier this week, Crews lent his (admittedly extraordinary) acting chops to what may easily be one of the most cursed advertisements of the modern era, aimed at hyping up a (probably highly-sanitized and piss-bottle-free) version of what it's like to work for Amazon – a.k.a. Jeff Bezos's billion-dollar bastard child -- to potential workers.
“I heard that Amazon was hiring a bajillion people and thought I’d take a look for myself,” he says in the slot, seemingly aimed at both garnering new hires and perhaps mitigating Amazon's not-so-great reputation as a
hellhole sweatshop less-than-ideal employer.
Despite the video's relatively jovial tone, featuring Crews hyping up a handful of Amazon's HR policies and goofing around in an Amazon warehouse – an act that will definitely not lead to workers being pushed even harder towards the brink of mental and physical collapse to pick up the slack – it seems many commenters weren't too thrilled with his endorsement.
“This is Terry Crews cosplaying as a poor person to do an ad for union busting,” mused reporter Elie Mystal. "He's basically John Cena's character from Suicide Squad now.
“Someone tell me that Boots Riley directed this and it’s part of a new movie,” wrote content creator Ariel Castillo in a post referencing Crew's role in 2018's anti-capitalist masterpiece, Sorry To Bother You.
However Crews isn't alone in appearing in highly-questionable ads – from Bob Odenkirk to former Soviet Union president, Mikhail Gorbachev, here are three bizarre examples of celebrity endorsements.
Bob Odenkirk for Miller Beer
Years before he captivated the nation as Breaking Bad and later, Better Caul Saul's titular Saul Goodman, Albuquerque New Mexico's shadiest lawyer who you definitely want on your good side of you plan on manufacturing and selling large quantities of meth, it seems Odenkirk helped the operation of another equally mediocre substance – Miller Beer.
Yep, in 2004, prior to becoming a certified national treasure, Odenkirk starred in a commercial for everyone's probably-not-favorite beer, appearing as a candidate in the President of Beers debate slot, hyping up Miller's variety of really-okay adult beverages. After successfully gassing up the line of drinks, it seems his opponent was speechless – namely because he was a Clydesdale horse – a not-so-subtle nod to Budweiser's iconic ad imagery.
David Cross for AOL
Ahh, remember the early days of the internet when AOL was relevant and the best way to express your teenage angst was to make some moody Blink 182 song lyrics your AIM away message? Well, folks, it seems highly-divisive comedian David Cross, just like Pepperidge Farm, remembers, appearing in an ad for the software circa 1995.
Set to the tune of "Also sprach Zarathustra" – a.k.a that one song from the beginning of 2001: A Space Oddesy that goes DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun DUN dun, etc. – the commercial features what at first appears to be a monkey paw-finishing registering its own AOL account, an action that apparently prompts an immediate “you got mail!” and a hasty zoom out, revealing that it wasn't a primate, rather, Cross sporting a prothetic.
“Boy, that would have been even easier without the monkey glove,” he says with a shrug.
Mikhail Gorbachev for Pizza Hut
Roughly seven years after Russia's famously birthmarked leader, Mikhail Gorbachev, stopped reppin' the reds after his tenure as the Soviet Union's president ended in 1991, the politician began repping another red – the red roof of Pizza Hut. In 1997, Gorbachev, whose pension had essentially become worthless due to inflation, decided to tear down that wall evidently preventing him from entering show biz, starring in an international commercial spot for the pizza chain.
Featuring the nation's former leader walking -- inexplicably alongside a small child – into a Pizza Hut seemingly located in Moscow's Red Square (although it was actually filmed at a Pizza Hut location somewhere else in the Russian city), Gorbachev doesn't say a peep throughout the entire slot, yet he commands the commercial, launching a pizza-centric debate on domestic policy.
“Because of him, we have economic confusion!” says one Pizza Hut patron upon seeing him sit down with a vegetable pie.
“Because of him, we have opportunity!” adds another, sparking a heated back-and-forth that escalates until everyone in the establishment realizes that Gorbachev apparently brought Pizza Hut to Russia, an epiphany that leads to everyone raising a slice and chanting “Hail to Gorbachev!”
Because as we all know, folks, nothing can bridge drastic political divides like Russia's ex-president dropping by everyone's third-favorite pizza chain!