Bad news for gamers who love novelty baby names, hate paying $120 for the Xbox Game Pass, and derive a sick sense of joy from subjecting innocent children to a lifetime of public humiliation –  naming your kid “Game Pass” will not get you a free subscription to the service, a fact desperately noted by Xbox exec Aaron Greenberg during a Gamecom 2021 live stream last week with Bethesda's Pete Hines. 

During Friday's Twitch livestream, which was partially in German, Hines, who serves as the Fallout maker's SVP of Global Marketing and Communications, recounted a story in which a pregnant woman went into labor during the Skyrim reveal at 2011's Quakecon, bringing a whole new meaning to “you have opened the door to darkness, little man.” Amid his tale, Hines joked the new parents may have dubbed their kid Dovahkiin in honor of their Skyrim-inspired introduction to this world – which let's face it, is a breath of fresh air when compared to, say, Jaxxton, Lakeynn, Breeleigh, or whatever the hell white millennials are naming their children nowadays. However, it seems another couple would go on to bestow their child with the moniker, for which Bethesda gave them free games for life. 

Now, just like the prospect of any good first-born bargain, it seems the wheels were likely turning in Skyrim fans heads, presumably pondering what it would be like to yell at little Dovahkiin, Paarthurnax, or Jarl for breaking a valuable vase, coloring on the walls, or committing the unassuming cardinal sin of stealing a chicken in The Elder Scrolls V in exchange for a lifetime of free games. “I now wonder how many people will now name their kid Dovahkiin just for the games,” one panelist noted with a laugh. 

Knowing the notorious fervor of Xbox fans, executive Aaron Greenburg took a moment to provide a word of warning to any parents to be watching the Twitch stream: “I also ask that no one name their baby Game Pass,” he said, knowing damn well Xbox players would love to save that sweet, sweet $120 per year. 

So folks, take it from Greenburg – maybe naming your kid "Game Pass" in pursuit of free stuff isn't the best idea. 

Top Image: Shutterstock/Shutterstock

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

 

 

 

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