Meet The Lamest Cryptid: Ohio's Loveland Frog

If local lore is lacking and someone catches a shadow at the wrong time, the results could be the “discovery” of the lamest mythical creature possible.
Meet The Lamest Cryptid: Ohio's Loveland Frog

Not every cryptid can be as cool as Bigfoot or Nessie. If local lore is lacking and someone catches a shadow at the wrong time, the results could be the “discovery” of the lamest mythical creature possible. This is what happened in Loveland, Ohio, home of the Loveland Frog.

Standing at an impressive four feet tall, the Loveland Frog is said to resemble a frog in appearance, but it walks on its back legs. Those who have encountered the Loveland Frog claim that areas where it has been smell of almonds and alfalfa … so, like every vegan grocery store.

Tim Bertelink

They also suffer from permanent “caught looking at porn” face, apparently.

The first Loveland Frog sighting comes from 1955, and accounts of the encounter vary. The general lore of this encounter is that a salesman driving at night encountered three creatures near the Little Miami River. Each of these was a Loveland Frog, and the encounter ended when one of them held up a wand that shot sparks into the air. Reasonably, the salesman quickly got away after the sight of wand-wielding, bipedal frogs. 

After making their debut, the Loveland Frogs disappointingly disappeared for 17 years before gracing us with their presence again. In 1972, the Loveland police had two separate encounters with the mysterious Frogman. On March 3, an officer saw a large creature that resembled the Loveland frog from the 1955 setting. Before he could take action, though, the creature ran away (or hopped, maybe). 

Captain Jammers

As Ohioan frogs famously weren't given driver's licenses until 1973.

The next encounter happened only two weeks later, and this encounter would give us some answers. This Loveland Frog encounter involved another police officer, who saw a mysterious creature around the same spot as the first officer. Unlike the first officer, though, this one was prepared. With the swiftness of an American cop, he drew his revolver and shot the thing dead. The people of Loveland would get to see the face of their semi-famous cryptid … a long, tailless iguana. It is assumed that the March 3 cop also encountered an iguana instead of a mythic frog. 

Still, though, the legend of the Loveland Frog persists, in part because the big iguana does not give an explanation for the bizarre 1955 sighting. The 1972 cops might have just found an abnormal iguana, but the salesman reported three Loveland Frogs who talked and used magic wands. This award-winning documentary sheds more light on what he may have encountered:

Either he was imagining certain parts of that evening, or there was more to the story. We may know what was going on in Ohio in 1972, but it seems like we’ll have to speculate on the events of 1955. Lucky for cryptid enthusiasts, who want to experience more of Ohio’s favorite monsters, they can visit Cincinnati to catch the musical “Hot Damn! It’s the Loveland Frog!” Everyone else can laugh about the visual of a gigantic frog vibing in Ohio and talking trash about those weeb turtles in NYC.

Top Image: Tim Bertelink

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