Remember when Paddington 2 overtook Citizen Kane in the Divine Grand Rankings of Movie Excellence … erghm, we mean Rotten Tomatoes. A review from over 80 years ago was discovered that skewered Orson Welles' magnum opus right in the rosebud, leaving Paddington 2 as the sole champion of the 100% fresh club. (At least 100% with the requisite number of ratings.)

Well, it was a fun month while it lasted for the bear from Peru. Paddington 2 got a bad review. (Why does even bad news about Paddington have to sound so whimsical?) Now it sits at 99%, tying it with Citizen Kanebut giving it an adjusted ranking of 76th on the all-time list for some reason. (Citizen Kane is 5th.)

Apparently, Paddington 2 had a bit too much padding for Film Authority's Eddie Harrison, who wrote, "This is not my Paddington Bear, but a sinister, malevolent imposter who should be shot into space, or nuked from space at the first opportunity." Nuclear assault might feel like an overreaction for not like a movie about a bear that just likes to make marmalade sandwiches, but understand the pressure that this man is under. He has to defend his position to dethrone the greatest movie of all time. As the saying goes, when you come at the king, you best not miss, and the only way not to miss, we guess, is to attack with a bomb from space. 

It's bizarre that there's a battleground for top ranking on Rotten Tomatoes, but we guess that's where we've come to as a society. In reality, you shouldn't even be able to compare a movie like Paddington 2, a wholesome tale made for children, and Citizen Kane, a gritty, semi-biographical drama about the death of a publishing tycoon, but we're so deeply in search of an objective truth that we'll take the unknown algorithm behind the rankings of a film review aggregating site as definitive reality rather than make our own judgments. Or it could just be that we're all having fun and everyone is just meme-ing.

Anyway, suck it Paddington 2. Kane gonna give it to ya.

Follow Dan on Twitter to learn more about his upcoming projects and find him on his podcast The Bachelor Zone to hear him talk about The Bachelor like it is a sport. (Because it is.)

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