Gear Up Like A Boss For President's Day

This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.

It's common knowledge that every American president was a hopeless shopaholic. That's why there are so many sales on President's Day Weekend -- to celebrate the shopping obsession of George Washington that inspired 44 other material boys to become the commander in chief. Celebrate their weekend in style with these sweet tech deals, on sale for an extra 15% off when you use code PREZ2021.

ZeroDark 3-Piece Tactical Set: Flashlight, Lantern & Headlamp, $16.99 (reg. $59) with promo code PREZ2021

Disasters are exponentially more disastrous when everyone is fumbling around in the dark, so be prepared by adding this flashlight, lantern, and headlamp to your emergency kit. It's what the presidents would have wanted.

HyperSonic DX Noise Cancelling Earbuds, $33.99 (reg. $59) with promo code PREZ2021

Wireless earbuds are all about convenience, but the DX Noise Cancelling Earbuds are all about shutting out the world, too. They deliver pure sound reproduction, clarity, and improved dynamic range while blocking the sound of all those cars honking at you when you wander into the street like you're in a music video. What a bunch of jerks.

The Original Moon Lamp(TM), $41.64 (reg. $54) with promo code PREZ2021

Kennedy might have chosen to go to the Moon not because it was easy but because it was hard, but like, it's really hard, you guys. Instead, you can look at it more closely with The Original Moon Lamp(TM)! It's been meticulously crafted by expert designers using the latest high-quality NASA satellite images.

Motorola Sonic Sub 530 Wireless Bluetooth Speaker, $42.46 (reg. $59) with promo code PREZ2021

Whether you're lounging stylishly at the beach or just bored on the toilet, this minimalist speaker will kick out the jams everywhere.

Xpods Pro True Wireless Earbuds + Charging Case, $42.49 (reg. $69) with promo code PREZ2021

True wireless earbuds are cool. The price tag is a lot less cool. These buds, however, are less than $45 now.

MagBuddy Wireless Charge Desk Mount, $42.49 (reg. $69) with promo code PREZ2021

Don't waste your life checking your phone a half dozen times every 15 minutes. Waste it with it right in front of you with this wireless charging desk mount.

Sky Lite Laser Galaxy Projector, $50.99 (reg. $59.99) with promo code PREZ2021

Enjoy a laser show at home with this galaxy projector that blasts out light everywhere. It's just like going to the club except better because there are no other people.

Wireless Charging Dock for iPhone, $56.09 (reg. $98) with promo code PREZ2021

This elegant pad can charge your Apple Watch and Qi-compatible smartphone at the same time and fits your "Marioe Antoinette meets Little House" aesthetic.

OMNIA Q2 True Wireless 2+1 Fast Charging Stand, $64.56 (reg. $89) with promo code PREZ2021

Every good leader knows how to multitask, so celebrate President's Day with this charging stand that wirelessly charges your Qi-compatible smartphone and Apple Watch at the same time. You'll be making decisions about national security before you know it.

Aduro U-Stream Executive Home Streaming Studio with Ring Light & Tripod, $101.99 (reg. $299) with promo code PREZ2021

Tired of looking terrible on Zoom calls? Turn your home into a streaming studio with this complete rig designed to make you look your best whether you're flitting around and pointing at charts or secretly pantsless.

Aura Smart Strap for Apple Watch, $101.14 (reg. $119) with promo code PREZ2021

If you're looking to get in shape in 2021, this cool smart strap attaches to your Apple Watch to add bioimpedance analysis like body fat and muscle mass measuring, hydration tracking, and more. It can probably read your mind. Make sure to carefully peruse those terms and conditions.

VANKYO Performance V600 Native 1080P LED Projector, $144.49 (reg. $249) with promo code PREZ2021

We've reached the stage of quarantine where all the movie studios are giving up and just chucking the content they've been sitting on into the digital abyss, so you might as well lean into the movie night thing with this projector. It has a native resolution of 1920x1080 and a contrast ratio of 5000:1 while projecting an image up to 300". Them's some crazy numbers.