Mysterious 'Con Queen Of Hollywood' May Finally Be Caught
Everyone has an opinion on who should be considered the greatest living actor. Is it Meryl Streep? Daniel Day-Lewis? Two-thirds of Nicholas Cage? If you'd ask any female Hollywood exec, their answer would probably be: "That piece of shit that's been impersonating me for the past eight years."
Since 2013, Hollywood has been plagued by a con artist known only as the Con Queen of Hollywood. (Not to be mistaken with Lucy Lawless, the Comic-Con Queen of Hollywood). Only three things are known about this mysterious figure. Firstly, she's an amazing actor. With a level of research, preparation, and skill uncommon in even the con game, she has been posing as a plethora of studio power players. Her greatest roles include impersonating several execs from Marvel, Lucasfilm, Sony, and producer Deborah Snyder, Zack Snyder's less-grimdark half.
With that power, the Con Queen has managed to trick over a hundred Hollywood hopefuls, from "actors" to "make-up artists" to, um, "bobsledders," into doing her bidding. Believing she was handing out big breaks, many of them traveled to Indonesia to join a (fake) movie, spending thousands of dollars on shady drivers, fake permits, and other strangely costly travel expenses. Of course, when the project didn't pan out, and these so-called employees tried to recoup these expenses, the Con Queen would disappear as quickly and quietly as Taylor Lautner's career.
In total, it has been estimated that the scam managed to siphon off between $1.5 and 2 million into the local Indonesian crime industry. And in many ways, those who were merely scammed out of money were the lucky ones. Because the second thing we know about the Con Queen is that she's very, very horny. Many of her more attractive male marks wound up on her digital casting couch, compelled to perform sexual acts as part of their "audition." Like one stunt man who, while auditioning to become the new Hawkeye, started becoming suspicious when the woman he thought was Marvel exec Victoria Alonso wanted him to whip out his broadhead and shaft.
"Okay, but I draw the line at having to listen to Jeremy's music."
But perhaps the most shocking fact we know about the Con Queen of Hollywood is that she's no queen at all. Eventually, dogged corporate investigator Nicoletta Kotsianas noticed that, often, a similar-sounding 'male assistant' would be the one pulling the day-to-day scamming. Several voice scans of these telephone conversations (from a sting by Deborah Snyder, who used her hot fitness coach as bait) later confirmed that this Con Queen was, in fact, a man, the entire hustle being the work of a single crafty, genderbending criminal genius.
And now, it seems that, after the involvement of studio security, expensive private eyes, and even the FBI, the Con Queen of Hollywood has likely been unmasked by, you guessed it, a true-crime podcast. Chameleon: Hollywood Con Queen points the finger at Hargobind Punjabi Tahilramani, an Indonesian Instagram influencer living who allegedly uses his criminal earnings to fund expensive, vaguely sad photoshoots of himself. Still, until confirmed by the FBI, and with the suspect's potent talent at method acting and ability to mask as anyone from male to female, all bets remain off when it comes to knowing who the Con Queen truly is -- though my money is still on Daniel-Day Lewis.
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