The stars of Quentin Tarantino's classic crime drama/McDonald's promotional film Pulp Fiction reunited ... for a Christmas-themed commercial? It's not like we expect a lot from these callous attempts to exploit whatever nostalgia-based emotions remain clinging to our otherwise dead, blackened souls, purely to sell us more junk we can't afford and don't need -- but this one is especially baffling. Yes, somehow even worse than John McClane shilling for car batteries or E.T. returning to Earth so Elliott can learn the true value of better internet coverage.
For some reason, a major credit card company not only thought that the best way to sell their product would be to bring together the two guys who played slick assassins in a movie famous for its excessive violence (including a scene where a leather-clad gimp is literally strangled to death in a grimy rape basement), but to also have one of them play friggin' Santa Claus. Yes, John Travolta dons more unnerving facial prosthetics than he did for Battlefield Earth in order to portray Kris Kringle -- who somehow looks even less photorealistic than he did in The Polar Express.
Meanwhile, Samuel L. Jackson plays ... himself? Since he's friends with Santa, who looks and sounds less like Santa and more like the star of Look Who's Talking Too dressed like Kenny Rogers, we have a theory; perhaps in the world of this commercial, actor John Travolta somehow inadvertently killed Santa Claus. Like maybe he clipped Santa's sleigh flying one of his many private planes. Now, like in a certain popular Disney franchise, Travolta's been forced to retire from Hollywood and live at the North Pole in his new life as an immortal elven demigod. If kids all over the world get "Free Stress Tests" for Christmas this year, you'll know we were right.
Top Image: YouTube/Capitol One