Well friends, today, we added yet another point to the list of possible reasons your crush didn't text you back - a monkey stole their phone. Yes, you read that right, a monkey stole their phone. While this sounds like a weird zoomer version of "the dog ate my homework," this scenario was all too real for Zackrydz Rodzi, a 20-year-old man from Malaysia who woke up on Saturday morning to find that his phone had vanished without a trace ... or so he thought.
"There was no sign of robbery," the computer science student told the BBC of the incident. "The only thing on my mind was is it some kind of sorcery." After searching high and low, he finally had his first clue when his father said he noticed a monkey outside their home. Upon calling his phone again, he heard it ring in the jungle just beyond his back garden
Although this may sound entirely bananas, the monkey at hand, who clearly was clued into the absurdity of the situation, listened to the classic internet adage of "pics or it didn't happen," taking a number of selfies and videos. along the way. The monkey's photographic style can only be described as eclectic modern art.with avant-grade panoramic images ...
... intense eye pictures, like the ones you took in middle school in an attempt to impress said crush that didn't text you back...
... and even texturally-rich plant photo.
So how exactly did this happen? Although he suspects the monkey climbed in through his brother's open bedroom window, the world may never know. Let's hope this time there isn't a knock down-drag-out PETA backed lawsuit over who owns the rights to these images.
Top Image: Wikimedia Commons