If the essence of cuteness were run through an algorithm and bioengineered in a lab, it might come out resembling Pikachu. Everything about the tiny electric rodent, from his red cheeks to his fat tummy, to his jagged tail seems inevitable in its adorableness, so much so that it's hard to imagine the frontmouse of the 95 billion dollar franchise looking any other way. But Nintendo of America originally had other plans for the design of Pikachu, specifically as "something like a tiger with huge breasts."

Pikachu Could Have Looked like 'A Tiger With Huge Breasts'
Pokemon Anime
Yeah, we're horrified too.

Here's the full quote from President of the Pokemon Company, Tsunekazu Ishihara:

"At the time, it was widely believed that American kids would never want to play games with a lot of text, (so) we thought Pokemon only had about 10% chance of success outside Japan. The first time we showed off some Pokemon in the US, we were told they were 'too cute.

The staff in America submitted their ideas for replacement designs, but we just couldn't believe the kind of stuff they were proposing. They turned Pikachu into something like a tiger with huge breasts. It looked like a character from the musical Cats. When I asked, "How is this supposed to be Pikachu?" they said, "Well look, there's its tail right there." Seriously, that was the kind of stuff being proposed."

It's easy to say in hindsight that this would have been a bad idea considering Pokemon's incredible success, but I guess we'll never know for certain. Maybe, somewhere in a parallel dimension, Pikachu is storing untold amounts of electricity in his/her oversized mammaries, and shocking Ash (who may very well be a walking tuft of pubic hair with a ninja sword in this universe) into kingdom come. And maybe that iteration of Pokemon has netted that world 95 trillion dollars instead of a paltry 95 billion.

But here's another thing to consider (Courtesy of this Pokemon fusion generator using Pikachu and the breastiest Pokemon I could find, Jynx):

Pikachu Could Have Looked like 'A Tiger With Huge Breasts'

Eh, it could be worse, but we might be better off in our current reality.

Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.

Top Image: The Pokemon Company

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