5
The Matrix -- If The Machines Took Over, They'd Probably Just Let Us All Die
One apocalyptic movie scenario we may be already living through without realizing it: The Matrix. Are we all just stuck inside an elaborate simulation? Do human beings exist purely as living AA batteries to power our robot overlords? If we manage to somehow break free of this virtual reality prison can we, um, skip the Fraggle Rock-themed raves?
Warner Bros.Pro: We don't live in a computer anymore! Con: Everyone is now really into Burning Man.
In reality, The Matrix would probably never happen. For one thing, if people can escape the Matrix via telephone, wouldn't the robots set the simulation in, like, the 1700s or something? But there's a more science-y flaw too; it makes zero sense for the robots to use human beings as a power source, which is probably why no one jumpstarts their stalled cars using loved ones.
When Morpehus fills Neo in on, well, what happened in The Animatrix, he claims that with humans, the machines found "all the energy they would ever need." Humans are now grown like slimy naked Christmas trees. But that sure looks like a lot of work.
Warner Bros.It's kind of like us heating our homes with thousands of hamsters running on wheels.
While the brain would produce energy, it would still take way more energy for the machines to keep everybody alive in Gigertown, U.S.A. than they would be able to extract. And even if we forgive how much effort would be required to house all of those people, feed them, and run an elaborate computer game 24/7 so they think it's still the '90s, the amount of energy you can get from a human brain isn't all that much. It would take three whole days just to "charge an iPhone." The machines would be better off letting us all die and just building their own nuclear plant. Which, admittedly, would have made for a worse movie with far-less black leather and kung-fu.
4
Zombies are Too Thin, Should Sometimes Be Exploding
The apocalypse genre just wouldn't be the same without zombies; from Night of the Living Dead, to Shaun of the Dead, to the one where Brad Pitt defeats an army of reanimated corpses thanks to the refreshing taste of Pepsi Cola, people love zombie stories. Even if The Walking Dead burns through every actor in Hollywood and is left with just the Dos Equis guy and Andy Dick wandering the ruins of America, if there are zombies, people will still tune in. But we may be picturing zombies all wrong. Typically, the zombies we tend to get are fairly thin.
AMC TelevisionWhich kind of makes sense, after all, they're always walking around doing cardio.
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