How Benjamin Netanyahu's 'Evidence' Of Covered-Up Iranian Deaths Became Funny

There's a long list of things that are tough subjects for jokes. This story contains a few of them -- a deadly pandemic, mass graves, and government coverups of the previous two things. It takes a herculean comedic effort to make these bleak subjects funny. Or, you can be saved by a funny third-act twist already built into the story that naturally deflates the tension while simultaneously making a world leader look like an easily duped dipshit. And that's how a story about Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu showing his cabinet video evidence that their arch-rival Iran has been covering up the true number of coronavirus deaths became funny.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Since the exact details of how the events unfolded remains to be seen, all we can do is imagine how all of this probably played out. So here that is, presented as a short story:

***

Netanyahu burst into the meeting room holding a VHS tape overhead. "I've got it!" he announced to the room of startled cabinet members. "I've got the tape that will definitely prove that Evil Iran is dumping the bodies of the many who have died of the coronavirus into mass graves!"

The cabinet members chattered excitedly. Could it be? Could they have caught their longtime nemesis red-handed? Netanyahu slid the CRT TV strapped to a pushcart from the corner of the room to the head of the table and popped in the tape. What those cabinet members saw shocked and disturbed them. Dozens of bodies being kept in what appears to be an ice rink.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

It's grim.

It's stomach-churning.

"It's from the 2007 Hallmark made-for-TV miniseries event Pandemic starring Saved By The Bell's Tiffany Thiessen," said a sheepish cabinet member and noted Thiessen fan.

"What?" replied a confused Netanyahu.

"That scene takes place about halfway through part two of the spectacular three-hour event," said the Tiffaholic cabinet member. This was his time to shine.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

"B-but," mumbled the Prime Minister. "The Iranians."

"I'm sorry, Prime Minister," said the cabinet member, "As you can see, this scene takes place in an ice rink. Ice rinks were banned in Iran after the revolution in 1979. They finally got one again in 2015. And since Pandemic was released to great acclaim in 2007 ..."

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

"Then," Netanyahu resigned. "It's not a mass grave."

"No, probably not, Prime Minister," said the cabinet member, making a mental list of which Saved By The Bell episodes to binge later that night. "Just the marvelous film Pandemic."

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

The Prime Minister took a long, contemplative breath.

"I have this other tape," he shouted with renewed vigor. "Apparently, the Iranians have an ice ray." He held the second tape aloft.

"That's 1997's Batman and Robin, Prime Minister," another cabinet member chimed in. "And before you say anything, that's not the ayatollah. It's Mr. Freeze."

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on YouTube!

Top Image: Hallmark Channel


To turn on reply notifications, click here

31 Comments

Load Comments