We've all probably had a Triscuit by now. It's very fibrous for a biscuit/cracker/baked good of some sort, it gets stuck in your teeth with the same amount of ease as a chewy toffee, and generally the best way to consume it is with stuff on top, maybe like a cured meat/cheese combo sort of thing. You know, party food. Well, "eating Triscuits at a party" is the very simple event that sent comedian Sage Boggs spiraling, as he details in this Twitter thread:
As Boggs tells it, he could be reasonably certain that the name "Triscuit" was based on the word "Biscuit," but he wasn't so sure about the "Tri" part. Everyone he asked seemed sure it had to do with the snacks having three of something, be it layers, ingredients, or even the shape (in some editions), but none of these were the official answer. A deep googling didn't have a consensus, either. Boggs had to go straight to the top and emailed Triscuit parent company Nabisco, and got this answer:
That wasn't a good enough answer, like not even by corporate PR email standards, so he did some further research into the origins of Triscuits, and found some early advertisements. And, well, they couldn't be clearer.
That was it. In the early 1900s, it was a huge new thing for something to be cooked using electricity. Someone probably slurred some words together or had a fun little dad joke moment, and created one hell of a portmanteau. Elec-TRIS-ity Bis-CUITS. TRISCUITS. And to top it all off, Triscuits confirmed it, even adding a little lightning bolt to their Twitter account:
So there you have it, next time you head to the grocery store, maybe pick up a box of Triscuits and think a little bit about the lover and amperage in every bite. What we need now is a Gourmet Makes episode about Triscuits with a jury-rigged battery-powered oven with visible sparkage. You ready, Claire Saffitz?