After a short but sharp-nippled detour in the nineties, the Batman film canon has become grittier and mature with every new movie. This has left some fans yearning for a sillier Batman like the one in the sixties' show starring Adam West as Batman and Burt Ward as Robin, just a zanily fun tale about ka-powing baddies and using gadgets to solve everything, like Bat-rocket boots, Bat-shark repellent ... or a pill that can shrink Robin's giant penis.

Burt Ward, the power bottom of Dynamic Duos, is back in the news with his favorite two topics: playing Dick Grayson and his big ol' dick. In an interview with the tabloid Page Six, Ward recalls that while playing Batman's ward Dick ABC wanted him to ward his dick. According to the studio, the actor's very prominent costumed bulge was disturbing not just the National League of Decency but a very insecure Adam West, who Ward adds needed "Turkish towels in his undershorts" to pad up the area under his utility belt.

The Original Robin Says His Junk Was Too Big For 'Batman'
20th Century Fox Television
"Acrobat? Baby, you should see me try to get out of these tights."

To counter this, Ward claims that the network made him start taking penis pills "to shrink me up," but the caped crusader feared they'd make him sterile so instead he used his cape to cover his midriff like a sweater around a self-conscious teen. And while Adam West did also note in his biography that their tight tights were a modesty issue, Ward's gigantic genitals claims are wholly unsubstantiated, Batman aside. In fact, Ward is infamous for making wild exaggerations. In the same interview, he notes that his penis is only his second biggest organ in his body as he was once "in the top 3% in the United States in science and math" and allegedly gave up a prospective career as a nuclear physicist to play the Boy Wonder on TV. He also claims to be able to "double and triple the lifespan of dogs" and that he and his wife run the "largest giant dog rescue charity in the world," though it wouldn't surprise if he was just giving a couple of extra months to a modest amount of terriers.

This is also, by no measure, the weirdest story Ward has about the size of his Batarang. The former actor loves to milk the tales of his massive penis more than his time as Dick Grayson, as he regaled in his uncut memoir Boy Wonder: My Life In Tights, where he describes him and West being "sexual vampires" during his time in the limelight. Ward even boasts about all the times he gave out his "ultimate autograph," i.e. had sex with his fans or their sixties' moms while Adam West would peep from the shadows, implying that Affleck definitely wasn't the first Batman to tense up and freeze when hearing someone moan "Martha."

For more weird tangents and tales about the sex lives of sidekicks, you can follow Cedric on Twitter.

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