The Horrifying Truths About Donating Dead Bodies To Science

3In Order To Be Sold, You Will Almost Certainly Be Hacked Into Various Parts And Sent ... Wherever

Body brokerage is a business, and the object is to make as much money as possible. And the sad fact is that you're generally worth more in pieces than as a whole. So you'll be cut up and sold for parts like an old car. Exactly like your grocery store's butcher, body brokers chop you into cuts of meat and sell them for varying amounts depending on how choice they are.

And there's not much point in keeping all those bits in one place. For example, a grieving widow named Linda Hayes honored her husband's dying wish that his body be donated for medical research. But when she tried to find out where his remains ended up, she learned he was chopped up like some medieval traitor and scattered to the four corners of the Earth. First his body was "leased to a nurse anesthetist seminar in Chicago," then they sold his joints to two different companies, and nobody's sure what happened to the rest of him. That, or it was something so awful that "We lost him" sounded better.

2They'll Mangle You With Chainsaws And Sew Your Head To Another Body For Kicks

Once a buyer decides they want a piece of you (literally), how do they split your body into salable chunks? As you've probably sussed out by now, the process is grisly, devoid of dignity, and probably involves whatever electrical saw the closest hardware store had on sale.

When the FBI raided Biological Resource Center's facility in Phoenix, they found "a cooler filled with penises," "a bucket of heads, arms, and legs," and "pools of human blood and bodily fluids." Officials also noted that the bodies "had been hacked up with chain saws or hack saws," and that a female head had been sewn onto a male torso and hung on the wall like the most horrifying office decoration ever. An agent actually used the words "in a Frankenstein manner" when describing BRC, which are not words you want on a Yelp review.

On Saturdays, BRC's "lab technician" taught college "interns" how to dismember corpses. One intern graphically recalled being selected to cut off an elderly woman's head with a reciprocating saw, because she'd "never cut off a head before," but all the others had (within a medical context, we hope). One week, the lesson involved pulling fingernails off corpses with pliers. That same lab tech also created a gruesome "instructional video" that demonstrated how to carve out someone's spine with a Sawzall. But hey, failing a saw, there are other options. Vice founder Shane Smith witnessed firsthand a different company's "procurement" process, including the 33 mallet whacks it took to chisel a woman's head from her body. And this was after that company had cleaned up its act.

1Your Dismembered Bits Might End Up On Display In A Hotel Ballroom Somewhere

While investigating the body part trade, Reuters reporter Brian Grow wanted to see precisely how difficult it would be for your average Joe to purchase human remains. Using his real name and email account and openly naming his employer, Grow was able to purchase a cervical spine and two human heads with less hassle than it takes to buy a case of beer. He was even able to track down the spine's original owner, whose parents were too poor to bury him and couldn't read the donation consent form they signed. Reuters paid for the spine to be cremated and returned to the parents, but we're guessing most buyers aren't that considerate. You could end up as part of some Hannibal-esque art display somewhere, for all these companies care.

And if your remains do get sold for something legitimate, like a medical workshop, it's entirely possible they'll end up somewhere you've only ever dreamed about going. That's right, you (or pieces of you) might take the vacation of your life after you've died. A group of 70 doctors worked on cadavers in the ballroom of the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, practicing spinal pain control techniques in the same room that's hosted thousands of wedding receptions. The ballrooms at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club Resorts in Orlando hosted another so-called "cadaver lab," where doctors practiced nerve blocks while blood and bodily fluids leaked onto the ballroom carpet. All this while guests and hotel staff went about their business right outside.