Childless Millennials Visiting Disneyland Is Weird, Says Guy

The internet outrage cycle is a weird organism. For instance, this past weekend, that bastion of rationality The New York Post published an editorial by an author who feels comfortable calling other folks "puerile," despite the fact that he is a grown man who goes by the name "Johnny." Anyway, Johnny wrote an op-ed about one of the most pressing issues of the day: Should childless millennials get to visit Disney World? He is firmly on the "No" side of things, because he is, like all of us, a pawn of the infinite scream box that is the Internet Economy in the year 2019 CE.

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Johnny's insistence that millennials are missing out on becoming cultured individuals because they're sucking Disney's billion-dollar teat is just as unimaginative as the reason he was inspired to write the dumb editorial. It's all because some random lady's caps-locked, emoji-filled Facebook rant on the subject of childless millennials ruining Disney went viral ... again. It first went viral in September 2018, shortly after it was posted. The rant by the woman who "f***ing hates childless women with a BURNING PASSION!!!" floated past Johnny's eyes, likely because as a writer for The New York Post, he's deeply steeped in the old conservative world of cranky fist-shakers who are confused by The Youth.

Disney only makes golf courses for parents who enjoy dragging their kids on seven-hour, 18-hole rounds, of course.Sam Greenwood/GettyDisney only makes golf courses for parents who enjoy dragging their kids on seven-hour, 18-hole rounds, of course.

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All the guy did was recycle an old, dull, pedantic argument that's only of interest to people who are jealous of others who decided to have fun instead of children. It's rage recycling at its finest. Ultimately, there is no debate to be had here. It's settled. People are going to go to Disney, childless or not. But The Olds are angry that they created a world in which millennials can't even afford to have kids, so we instead spend that money on making ourselves feel better about how hopeless our lives are because of them. We're just trying to cope, but we apparently can't be full humans until we start a college fund for a howling potato creature we didn't want. Hooray?

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