5

Scalpers Made A Fortune Off Ariana Grande's Charity Concert

It would be unfair to compare ticket scalpers to drug dealers. Unfair to the drug dealers, that is, because as far as we know, they've never tried to defraud a charity dedicated to bombing victims.

Via Wikimedia CommonsLove for money still counts, right?

On May 22, 2017, a suicide bomber attacked an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England, killing 22 and injuring 100 more. But not even punk terrorists can subdue the awesome strength of pop music, so Grande promised to return to Manchester to hold a benefit concert featuring some of the greatest musicians alive (and the Black Eyed Peas). And her fans responded in kind, with the show being sold out in mere minutes .... and then sold all over again on eBay.

4

A Charity Costume Party For Sick Babies Was Ruined By People Wearing Blackface

North Wales has a tradition called the Old Colwyn Fancy Dress Pub Crawl, combining the favored British pastimes of dandying up and getting absolutely wasted. Even better, all the money raised goes to Cuddles, a local charity that supports babies in the special care unit at Glan Clwyd [sic, Welsh] Hospital. Who could possibly ruin something so wholesome? We'll tell you: racists. Racists can.

On its ten-year anniversary, the pub crawl went awry when a bunch of awful white people decided to put on blackface and roam around town in their official capacities as charity volunteers, asking for donations in what we'll assume were very inappropriate accents. To add insult to injury, when the hospital heard of this, they flat out rejected the raised funds, telling them to donate to an equality charity instead. And wow, if the saints who save babies' lives for a living can't find it in their hearts to forgive you, you have to take a good long look in the mirror (peel that shoe polish off while you're at it).

3

German Meals On Wheels Accidentally Served Dog Food To Seniors

Feeding the hungry is the only mission of Osnabrucker Tafel, the German equivalent of Meals On Wheels. Their volunteers service hundreds of hungry folks, and to that end, they collect about 5 tons of donated food each day. It's a shame they never specified it had to be human food.

T'was the night before Christmas, and all seemed well, when one elderly man received his dinner from Osnabrucker Tafel. The glass jar the meal had come in spoke of a delicious "meat dish," its venison, potatoes, and vegetables fresh "from the land." But when he decided to heat up his feast, it became apparent there was something off with his food. And that may have something to do with every dog in a five-mile radius losing their minds.

Jurgen Arnas via Osnabrucker ZeitungArtisanal labels tricking Boomers into eating dog food? This is the future hipsters want.

Fetching a magnifying glass, the man read the small print and realized his meal wasn't some low-grade human chow, but in fact fancy dog food. Well, not that fancy, as the ingredients list featured mainly intestines, hearts, and muscle meat. As far as the charity is aware, it served this doggy treat to at least three other old folks as well, though it decided not to disclose whether they were less fussy about it.

2

A Toys For Tots Event Ended In A Massive Brawl And Arrested Moms

Christmas can be a really stressful time for poor families, as some parents can't afford to simply chuck a PlayStation under the tree and then go shotgun eggnog for the rest of the day. Luckily for them, charity toy drives come to the rescue, giving away free Christmas presents to all the underprivileged boys and girls. They're pretty much like Santa Claus ... the only difference being that Santa never makes mistakes. Which is probably why, unlike some charity organizers, he's never been punched in the mouth.

A few days before Christmas '17, hundreds of impoverished Detroit parents gathered at a local charity event to pick up free presents provided by Toys For Tots. But after waiting for several hours in the freezing cold, the toys they had applied for months in advance did not come. No one knows why or how the local organizers failed to present the presents on time. And we'll likely never know, because when the stressed-out parents cracked, bloody chaos erupted like a very special Christmas Purge Night.

1

Cleveland Unleashed 1.5 Million Deadly Balloons

Even though they're nothing but latex filled with stale breath, people sure love balloons. There's no such thing as too many. So when one charity decided to launch a giant fundraiser in Cleveland, they figured it would be a slam dunk to just get as many balloons as humanly possible.

Turns out there is such a thing as too many balloons.

Working with a Los-Angeles-based company, United Way of Cleveland hosted a charity drive around breaking the world record of most balloons launched at once. Balloons were sold for a dollar a pair, and volunteers and participants alike gathered under a massive tarp to blow them all up. Then, at the launch of Balloonfest '86, the tarp was opened and 1,429,643 balloons shot into the sky like a mushroom cloud, landing the city in the Guinness Book of World Records ... twice. Once for most balloons launched, and once for most deaths caused by party balloons.