How Many Farts Does It Take To Kill Someone?
Technically, "toxic" isn't a joke term when it comes to certain flatulent acts. Our rectal expulsions contain a number of asphyxiants (gasses that can cause death by suffocation). The most common asphyxiant found in farts, nitrogen, is the trendy new method for executing prisoners, and very non-breathable methane is also a high-percentage gas that tends to hang around after dinner. To weaponize farts, you'd simply have to keep those gases from dispersing.
So here's how you kill someone with farts, because our 14 years of publication have been building up to this. You will need a room full of dozens, if not hundreds, of farters with vacuum-sealed butts, and you will need tubes from those isolated anuses leading to a breathing mask on the victim's face. Once the victim of this strange and terrible revenge (Gary, you know what you did) starts breathing in pure farts without contamination from the surrounding air, the nitrogen would begin eliminating the oxygen stored in their lungs, and they would suffocate. And it would take about 605 farts to do them in, although that requires a few, ahem, assumptions about both their lung capacity and the average volume of fart.
Kasia Biel/Adobe StockSo more than just German food followed by a long elevator ride, like we'd always assumed.
Death by fart wouldn't be as bad as it sounds, relatively speaking. The feeling of panic that accompanies suffocation comes from carbon dioxide build-up, not oxygen deprivation, so you'll go to sleep painlessly before passing, albeit while smelling that Great Arby's Bathroom in the Sky. Anyway, please promise us that you'll keep this sacred knowledge theoretical and resist building the world's most elaborate yet childish death trap. At least until we use ours -- we want it to be unique.
Why Don't Pregnant People Tip Over?
Researchers who possibly needed to justify all of the fetish terms in their search histories were certainly intrigued by the question of how pregnant women stay upright. They deal with their center of balance shifting forward by leaning back, but that puts still more pressure on their muscles and an already stressed-out spinal column. And the spine, according to extensive research from Cracked's medical department, is important.
Whitcome, Et. Al./NatureWe're sure this is as comfortable as it looks.