5 Gross Celebrity Quotes We All Forgot About

5

Terrence Howard Doesn't See What The Big Fuss Is Over Hitting Women

Terrence Howard, the man who insists that one times one equals two and the rest of the world is too dumb to understand the reality he unlocked, has some weird beliefs. In a 2007 interview, he was asked what item he might find in a partner's house that would prove their relationship incompatible. Rather than take the obvious opportunity to crack some jokes about his taste in food or music, he went on a weird rant about hygiene.

"If they're using [toilet] paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go inside a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean."

That's right ladies, a man who once played Nelson Mandela thinks you're pooping wrong. He wasn't being flustered by a tough journalist. This was a fluff interview with Elle in which he saw a softball gently lobbed toward him, only to step in its path and let it hit him square in the mouth.

Frederick M. Brown/Getty ImagesTerrence Howard, seen here silently judging your butthole hygiene.

But hey, maybe it was a weird joke that fell flat, or maybe he was screwing around in a boring interview. It's not as if Howard, who has a long history of domestic abuse, could possibly have any issues with women. Like that time when he commented on Chris Brown's domestic abuse case: "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right. And Rihanna knows he loves her. She'll be all right. Just everybody's got to get out of their way." He later offered a totally sincere apology and said that he didn't mean to be so insensitive. And who hasn't looked at domestic abuse and said, "Eh, those wacky lovebirds will work it out if we give them a little space"?

But at least Howard learned his lesson and never commented on domestic abuse again ... until 2017, when he complained that the people who asked him to not hit women were holding him to an unfair double standard. "Why isn't anyone asking women to not hit me?" the man with a history of hitting women demanded to know, before focusing all of his incredible observational skills to boldly ask why we park on driveways but drive on parkways. Anyway, Howard started making $125,000 per episode of Empire in the same year that he confessed to striking his first wife.

4

Tim Allen Wants To Use The N-Word, Compares Himself To A Jew In Nazi Germany

White people using the N-word is a complicated issue. African Americans have politely made some logically compelling cases as to why the word is offensive, but Chet, our acquaintance who still wears JNCOs and insists that his DJing career is going to take off any decade now, says that it's totally cool because he had a black friend in elementary school. Who are we supposed to believe? Thankfully we have Tim Allen, the "It's fine, I have a black friend" of actors, to cut through the ethical morass.

3

Gary Oldman Felt The Need To Defend Mel Gibson

You may recall Mel Gibson's antisemitic rants, or his racist rants, or his sexist rants, or his racist antisemitic sexist rants. But imagine that you're another celebrity. What do you do when you're asked about his comments? Do you condemn him? Do you deflect the question? Or do you wait until years have passed and then bring the subject up yourself so that you can launch a stern defense? In 2014, that's what Gary Oldman felt the need to do, for some reason.

2

Brad Garrett Thinks All Women Are After His Money, Compares Vaginas To Credit Card Machines

Brad Garrett, star of Everybody Loves Raymond and possibly other things, released a 2015 book of essays about aging with all of the subtle humor that its title, When The Balls Drop, implies. And while it no doubt made a delightful Christmas gift for distant uncles all across the land, at least one essay featured Garrett offering the hottest takes on women that 1955 had to offer.

As spotted by Linda Holmes, a writer who was for some reason wasting her time reading When The Balls Drop, one essay features Garrett arguing that men need to lower their expectations and "learn to say yes" in a marriage, because he is apparently trapped in the same hellish sitcom world where he made his ill-gotten fame. He then added that "ladies own it, run it, and invented it" -- "it" being marriage, and Garrett being someone who lacks a grasp of remedial history.

1

Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn't Like Women Wearing Pants, Consenting

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was running for governor in California's extremely stupid 2003 recall election, critics dug up an old magazine interview from his bodybuilding days in which he said, "Bodybuilders party a lot, and once, in Gold's -- the gym in Venice, California, where all the top guys train -- there was a black girl who came out naked. Everybody jumped on her and took her upstairs."

So that's weird. But hey, it was 1977, and he was young and talking to a sleazy porn mag. Hopefully he was exaggerating. Voters agreed and ignored the news tidbit to sweep him into office, where he put his immature youth behind him to really hunker down and focus on the task of getting himself named one of America's least ethical governors.

And then, in the same year he was elected, Schwarzenegger implied that successful women are likely to be morons cruising on their sex appeal, saying, "As much as when you see a blonde with great tits and a great ass, you say to yourself, 'Hey, she must be stupid or must have nothing else to offer,' which maybe is the case many times." Now's probably a good time to mention that he's been accused of groping and harassment by all sorts of women. But perhaps the strangest sentiment of all came when he said:

"I hate pants. This is something I have inherited from my father. He despised pants, and my mother was never allowed to wear them at home. We're talking about a different time period now, when the man was much more the ruler of the house. But I still feel that way, and neither my mother nor Maria is allowed to go out with me in pants."

It's pretty messed up to dress your own mother. And perhaps unsurprisingly, his marriage ended in divorce after he admitted to fathering a child with their housekeeper. But hey, maybe the next Terminator movie will be fun, right? Wouldn't it be cool if he said "I'll be back" again?

Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book.