4

The Favourite -- Sorry, There Was No Steamy Love Triangle

Trojan-horsing Americans into using the letter "U" where they normally wouldn't, The Favourite centers on Queen Anne and two women vying for her #1 sidekick spot ... well, sidekick with benefits. Abigail Masham and Sarah Churchill both have sexual relationships with the queen, leading to a good old-fashioned love triangle, full of scheming and backstabbing. The only problem is that this never happened.

Fox Searchlight"Sorry, your highness, but if we're going to compete with Game Of Thrones, then that bodice is gonna need to come off."

While the movie obviously takes some historical liberties with its costumes and funky dance moves, the idea of Queen Anne engaging in any funny business with either woman is highly suspect. Why? Well for starters, she had a husband, Prince George of Denmark (who isn't in the movie at all), with whom she shared a bed even during his serious illness. Meaning that even if she had wanted to, Anne wouldn't have been able to have affairs like in the movie.

Plus, according to historians, the couple were super into each other, and had a "prolific sexual history." And one biographer noted that Anne was known for her "prudery, and her strong sense of Christian morality" -- meaning she probably wasn't doing the chambermaid behind her husband's back.

3

Vice -- Um, Lynne Cheney's Dad Didn't Murder Her Mom

In what presumably began as a misguided reboot of Eddie Murphy's Klumps franchise, Christian Bale packed on the pounds and prosthetics to play Dick Cheney in the biopic Vice. Because in this age of Marvel movies and CGI wizardry, who wouldn't want to plunk down their hard-earned money to watch a charisma-free politician erode our freedoms, destroy other countries, and accidentally shoot his buddy in the face?

Annapurna PicturesIt seems Bale really internalized all the shittiest parts of The Dark Knight.

While the movie's politics will certainly divide audiences, one of the more baffling assertions has nothing to do with Cheney, the Bush administration, or the Iraq war, but rather Cheney's father-in-law. Early on in the movie, Lynne Cheney's mom dies after falling into a pond -- which was weird because, as Lynne states, she couldn't swim. The movie heavily implies that she was murdered by Lynne's abusive father, with the narrator noting that there was never a "serious investigation" into the incident.

Wow, that's pretty crazy. What's crazier still is that no one seems to be pushing this theory except for this one movie. The death was ruled accidental because the coroner found no signs of trauma on the body and a dangerously high blood alcohol level. From all accounts, the woman fell in the water while walking her dogs and drowned. That's it. Vice's insinuation of foul play seems to have originated with Lynne Cheney's memoir, in which she questioned whether or not her mom's death was accidental. But even then, she never suggested that her father had anything to do with it.

Related: 16 Things 'True' Story Movies Got Wrong About Real People

2

Welcome To Marwen Fudges With Some Important Details

Now in the "remake a documentary with wacky special effects" phase of his career, Robert Zemeckis took the story of the acclaimed doc Marwencol and turned it into Welcome To Marwen, starring Steve Carell and an army of dead-eyed CGI Barbie dolls. It's basically the gritty, Nazi-filled Toy Story spinoff Pixar is too afraid to make.

Universal PicturesSomehow it's also the best G.I. Joe movie.

1

Green Book Is A "Symphony Of Lies"

Perhaps it shouldn't have been a total shock that a cinematic examination of racism directed by the guy behind Dumb And Dumber and Movie 43 would have a few kinks. Green Book tells the story of Tony Vallelonga, a brash Italian tough guy who takes a job chauffeuring refined black pianist Dr. Don Shirley through the deep South during the early 1960s. Along the way, the white man introduces the black man to soul music and fried chicken. Seriously, that's a thing that happens.

Not surprisingly, some critics took issue with things like this, and for telling a story of Southern racism through the lens of the dude who played Aragorn. While the movie was written by Vallelonga's son, and was painstakingly faithful in representing their family (his fictional mom wears his actual mom's jewelry), Shirley wasn't so lucky.

In the movie, we're told that Shirley doesn't speak with his brother, which helps foster a relationship between him and Tony. According to the real Maurice Shirley, though, they were never estranged. He talked with his brother monthly, and even enlisted him to be best man at his wedding shortly after the events of the movie. As for the fried chicken of it all, according to Shirley: "No one, EVER, had to teach my brother how to eat fried chicken. Nor would he have allowed 'lessons' of such by a white man."

Similarly, the movie's assertion that Dr. Shirley was unaware of popular black music seems laughable, considering how he was friends with luminaries like Sarah Vaughan and Nina Simone. And the broader idea that it took a white man to reconnect Shirley to his black roots is especially insulting, considering he marched at Selma and was friends with Martin Luther King Jr. Actor Mahershala Ali ended up apologizing to Shirley's family, who branded the film a "symphony of lies" -- which at least is classier than "a Smash Mouth song of horseshit."

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