5

The Cereal Monster-Verse

One of the biggest failures in the cinematic universe game was Universal's "Dark Universe," which announced a slew of new monster movies and even put together a slick logo, all before waiting to see if anyone liked their new Mummy movie ... which they did not. Apparently, at least one company is betting that the real reason that didn't work out was their creatures' conspicuous lack of powdered sugar.

Yup, General Mills is reportedly launching its own shared universe starring the monstrous mascots from its breakfast cereals -- Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and of course, Franken Berry. Bizarrely, the company made the announcement with a billboard of Franken Berry striking an uncomfortably seductive pose on a Sunset Blvd. billboard.

The website listed on the billboard features an invitation for pitches for "blockbuster" stories for General Mills' "legacy characters" -- which it seems is what they consider their cartoon knockoffs of famous literary characters. It may sound like a goofy PR stunt, but it appears as though the company genuinely wants to see these breakfast ghouls in multiple major motion pictures.

And hey, maybe there are stories to tell here. Is Count Chocula an actual vampire who digs chocolate, topping his cereal with the blood of the innocent instead of milk? Is Boo Berry the vengeful spirit of a berry farmer scouring the Earth for his murderers? Was Franken Berry created by an evil scientist with a diabolical plan to turn the world's feces pink? Hey, we could totally pitch these ideas, you guys.

Related: The 5 Types Of Movies You're About To Get Sick Of

4

The Filthy-Urchin-Filled Dahl-Verse

For parents who would rather shove an iPad in their kids' faces at bedtime than endure the painful monotony of reading, Netflix is planning to bring the world of Roald Dahl to life. And by "life," we mean a shitload of TV shows. Netflix spent a "nine-figure sum" for 16 Roald Dahl books -- and keep in mind that's before any production costs, just for the rights to tell the stories of various filthy children escaping abusive homes with the help of creepy but magical strangers.

Though in a world of billion-dollar superhero movies, it's possible that Matilda may not pack 'em in like she used to.

3

The Grisham-Verse

For those who love the Marvel Cinematic Universe but wish the Avengers were scrappy Southern lawyers putting everything on the line for one big case, we have good news. Hulu is launching two John Grisham adaptations that will share the same continuity. The shows will be based on The Rainmaker from 1995 and Rogue Lawyer from 2015 (by which time we'd all forgotten that John Grisham was a thing). They'll be written together in the same writer's room.

Bizarrely, you'll be able to watch the whole thing out of order. Hulu suggests viewers can watch the shows "vertically" or "horizontally." This suggests either that they'll explore bold new avenues of storytelling, or that these executives are high as shit.

Now keep in mind, so far these are the only two Grisham properties being incorporated into their own TV universe. More famous works -- like The Firm, The Pelican Brief, or god forbid, Christmas With The Kranks -- aren't on the table. But if you still feel like you have a Grisham-sized hole in your heart, Netflix recently produced an adaptation of The Innocent Man, Grisham's only nonfiction work. Yup, your TV is about to reach church rummage sale levels of Grisham content.

Related: 4 Terrible Movies That Want To Be The Next 'Avengers'

2

The Lovecraft Remake-Verse

H.P. Lovecraft is best known as the author of such horror classics as The Call Of Cthulhu and At The Mountains of Madness -- and also for being an internet troll before the internet. If you grew up in the '80s, though, you might associate Lovecraft with a bunch of crazy horror movies his works inspired, most famously Re-Animator (about a medical student who can bring dead tissue back to life, not Disney remaking its cartoons).

Empire International PicturesWhich you probably remember as "That movie with the sexual predator severed head."

1

The Spider-Man-less Spider-Verse

If Into The Spider-Verse taught us anything, it's that the key to a great Spider-Man movie is to cram in as many goddamn Spider-People as humanly possible. But for some reason, we're due to get a whole bunch of Spider-Man movies with no Spider-Man whatsoever. Sony still has the rights to the iconic superhero. And while they've partnered with Marvel to integrate Peter Parker into the MCU (where he can lead fun John-Hughes-like adventures while occasionally being horribly murdered), that still leaves a whole host of side characters who could each star in their own movie.

Most recently, the blockbuster hit / gritty reboot of The Mask known as Venom proved that audiences would turn out for a movie about a Spider-Man villain without Spider-Man showing up. And because the folks over there seem to like money, it doesn't look like they're going to stop. First off, we're getting a movie about Morbius the Living Vampire, starring Jared Leto and a bunch of people who are about to hate Jared Leto. Leto's already been stoking fan excitement, posting a Twitter video of himself shaving, presumably because flossing footage would have been too damn exciting.

Pictured: a superhero movie?

Other planned entries in Marvel Understudies Universe include movies centering on Black Cat and Silver Sable, as well as one about Kraven the Hunter. And even though the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man reboot was a dumpster fire that's been put out to pasture in the mixed metaphor that is a pasture full of flaming garbage receptacles, its villain-starring spinoff Sinister Six is reportedly still in development. So we may still get to see Paul Giamatti's Rhino drag the Green Goblin and friends on an awkward journey through wine country after all.

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter, or check out the podcast Rewatchability.

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